Thursday 30 August 2007

Fiji 14.11: Little Boy Blew It


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Tuesday 28 August 2007

Episode Eleven: How To Sink A Ship

The two remaining Horsemen- Alex and Mookie- have finally realised that the soft, fluffy stuff covering their eyes is wool, and that that isn't all Dreamz has been spinning. Dreamz tried his best to salvage his tattered alliance with the boys, but his weak defenses only mired him further, by inadvertently revealing that he voted for Mookie at Tribal Council. Meanwhile, the Syndicate Six congratulated themselves on a job well done, and seem to be ignoring, for now, the fact that there's only one million-dollar train at the end of this tunnel.

* * *

The tribe was again randomly divided into two teams at the Reward Challenge, in which a pair of 'flingers' had to, well, fling balls to their mud-bound teammates, who attempted to catch, or 'basket' the balls in ball-catching baskets (say it three times, fast). A closely contested match ensued- with a brief interlude mid-game to allow Boo to relocate his knee-cap, and gross everyone out- but the Green Team, comprising Stacy, Dreamz, Earl and Alex squelched their way to victory. An overnighter at a luxury spa resort gave Alex a chance to 'wiggle his way back into this alliance', but it takes more than a hot shower and some Olay Ribbons Body Wash™ to soften Earl's resolve. (But don't take this blog's word for it: Olay Ribbons Body Wash™ is available now at your local stockist, so why not try it for yourself? Olay Ribbons Body Wash™: It's Like Eating Candyfloss With Your Entire Body. Or Something.)

With nothing left to lose besides his dignity, Mookie indulged in a spot of looting, and happened upon the Idol hidden deep in Yau Man's bag. He and Alex bounded into the woods, absorbed in discussions of optimum damage strategies and 'blowing up' Yau Man's 'spot' with this newly-acquired information. Preoccupied with tapping such raw veins of scheme, and all the while marvelling at their own brilliance, Alex and Mookie failed to notice the two remaining ladies- Stacy and Cassandra- sharing a pineapple in the nearby undergrowth, until it was too late. A hasty reformulation saw the boys galloping off to confront Yau Man immediately, while the perplexed ladies, who had been out of earshot as much as eyesight, wandered back to camp wondering what, exactly, had occured.

Yau Man's 'spot' proved far from combustible, and when his Chelonian secret was revealed to his 'voting bloc' it only engendered sympathy for him- victim of a cruel snooping- and enmity towards Alex and Mookie- perpetrators of same. At the Immunity Challenge, memory and strategy were tested in a giant game of Battleship, in which Stacy sailed to victory. Afterwards, further puns were invoked as a paranoid Boo persuaded the Syndicate to split their votes between Alex and Mookie, in case either of them had found the freshly rehidden Idol and planned on using it that night at Tribal Council. Earl reluctantly agreed to this risky measure, but he needn't have worried; a fit of insight on Alex's part saw him turn on his fellow Horseman, casting the crucial vote to knock Mookie from the saddle.

The Four Horsemen are no more, and it looks like Alex may be out of strings to pull.

* * *

A Traitor, True: His duplicitous dealings now fully exposed, Dreamz found himself in the unusual position of being both liar and lied to, and is perhaps beginning to realise that one may be informed by the other. He expressed hurt at being left out of the voting loop by The Syndicate, but Earl soon explained away any lingering feelings of doubt and discomfort. Of course, ostensibly losing their only other allies the previous night can’t have been pleasant for Alex and Mookie, either. Dreamz tried to deny that he had turned on them, but his defense only highlighted his own self-interest: “I didn’t throw Mookie’s name out randomly to turn on y’all, but I knew once they had us gone, it’s me tryin’ to go with them.” When asked by Alex if there was a way out of the situation, he responded (emphasis mine), “All y’all can do now is we can just win challenges.” In other words, you guys are on your own.

The Horsemen assumed Dreamz had voted for Edgardo, until Dreamz slipped up and revealed that he’d voted for Mookie. Obviously the Mookster would take offense at this, but it may have got Alex thinking about why, when Dreamz went to double-cross them, he didn’t strike in the same place as the others. Although, burning as he was with the indignance and self-righteousness of the betrayed, Alex’s prime concern was licking his wounds.

Muddy Waters: A gloriously messy Reward Challenge goaded Cassandra into finally doing something of interest; at one point choke-holding Earl to prevent him catching a ball, and later, tripping Alex so that he fell face-first into the mud. She may not be the most physical of players- indeed, she’s probably the least physical player of all 19 Survivors- but it was nice to see her take the initiative for once and get her hands dirty. Of course, Boo’s bizzare antics stole the show once again; on all fours in the mud, bellowing like a wounded stag, is understandable when your knee-cap’s whereabouts are indeterminate; but reinstating the thing yourself, with such a sickeningly crunchy popping sound is just, well, grisly.

Boo’s body has suffered much punishment this season (largely self-inflicted of course), and more was in store for him beneath the scorching Fijian sun on Exile Island; the only recompense for his hardship being the first clue to the re-hidden Immunity Idol. The efforts of the victorious Green Team- comprising Stacy, Earl, Alex and Dreamz- were rewarded in a much more tangible way, with hot showers, dinner, and a night’s sleep in actual beds. Whether Earl did indeed ‘get his sexy back’ is a moot point, but it’s hoped that, once the cameras stopped rolling, the feculent four were allowed to shower as Nature intended, i.e., sans togs. That mud gets everywhere, y’know…

At dinner, Alex tried to convince the others that he deserves to stay around a while longer, though thankfully Stacy’s dormant cattiness reemerged to cut short his little reflexive encomium. When petitioned later that night Earl was kinder, though still unforthcoming. Earl is very calm and considered; it’s obvious to everyone at this stage that he’s pulling the strings, but he does it in such subtle and unobtrusive ways that he has yet to pay any price for it. Alex realises he may soon find himself on the jury bench, but maintains that he won’t go down without a fight- it remains to be seen what munitions he can conjure.

You Better Not Go Alone…: What should have been the strategic equivalent of a V-2 rocket materialised for Alex and Mookie the next day, due to the latter’s ‘creative’ (read ‘questionable’) ransacking of Yau Man’s bag. The two almost immediately focussed on the damage they could cause to Yau and the Syndicate, rather than on how they might use the knowledge- or indeed the Idol itself- to bring themselves back into the game. At one point, early in the discussion, Mookie submitted that it would be ‘in Yau’s interest to allign himself with us’, but this line of thought was abandoned in favour of ‘blowing up his spot’ at Tribal Council, under the- somewhat deluded- assumption that a shocked and disillusioned Syndicate would then turn on Yau…who would still have the actual Idol at his disposal at that point, but let’s not get into that for now, as this sentence is becoming ludicrously long. The conveniently placed Cassandra and Stacy put paid to this plan anyway, and the ‘two great brains’ were forced to confront Yau Man straighaway, and deliver their ultimatum: either he had to tell everyone about the Idol, or they would do it for him. Short of breath and with eyes aglow in expectation, the Horsemen must have been disappointed with Yau Man’s rather modest reaction to the threat; he was shocked of course, but more by the crude and abrupt nature of the confrontation, or the preceding invasion of his personal belongings, than having to reveal the secret of the Idol. Alex tried in vain to elicit more of a reaction- “It’ll be interesting, won’t it?”- but Yau wasn’t playing ball: “No…I think I’m past the phase where I absolutely have to have it.”

With the Idol out in the open, Yau Man knows he’s more of a target, but the overwhelming feeling when the information was disclosed was that of outrage at what Alex and Mookie had done. As Earl said, “People were pissed that they went through Yau’s personal things, not about ‘Yau has the Idol’.” It’s ironic that Alex and Mookie were condemned for their actions, but when Yau did a similar thing to Sylvia back in Episode Two (?) we all had a good chuckle at the enterprising little scamp. Granted, Yau had the decency to do it while the bag was still actually attached to its owner, but in principle it was the same thing.

Earl hung back as all this went down, but later expressed regret that the Idol’s whereabouts were disclosed: “…it sucked to me [that] someone knew, ‘cause I like keeping everything quiet, in general…too many people knowing about things; bad things happen.” He can’t grumble too loudly though; nobody else is aware that he was equal partner in the first Great Idol Hunt. Yau Man bears the brunt of the fallout from the info leak; does Earl still expect to call on Yau for the Idol’s protection if the need arises?

Coordinated Attacks: A novel and technically impressive Immunity Challenge tested the gang’s memories and ability to strategise, but there was a modicum of luck involved too. Stacy, whether by chance or design, sacrificed one of her own three blocks at the end, but took out her two remaining opponents- Alex and Yau Man- in the process, and walked away with the Immunity Idol. She received applause and thumbs up from Cassandra on the sidelines, while Alex looked slightly nauseous.

The next day- number 30-Alex threw about some more trite threats and self-important lawyerspeak, but at this stage it doesn’t look like he’s capable of making anything pan out.

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Wednesday 22 August 2007

Fiji 14.10: Chez Stacy


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Wednesday 15 August 2007

Episode Ten: Game Theory

Fiji, shit. I'm still only in Fiji. Every time I think I'm going to wake up back on Exile. When I was back at camp after my first trip, it was worse. I'd wake up and there'd be nothing...I hardly said a word to my tribe, until I said yes to a merge. When I was here I wanted to be there. When I was there, all I could think of was getting my hands on the Idol. I've been here a week now. Waiting for Tribal Council, getting softer. Every minute I stay on the Jury I get weaker. And every minute Jeff squats in the bush he gets stronger. Each time I look around, the alliances squeeze in a little tighter.

Everyone gets everything he wants. I wanted an Immunity Challenge, and for my sins they gave me one. Brought it up to me like margaritas on a 70-foot yacht.*


* * *

In the immediate aftermath of last week's confused Tribal Council, several members of Bula Bula had explaining to do. Mookie somehow managed to convince Alex that his aberrant vote for Stacy was a consequence of 'miscommunication', while Dreamz had a slightly harder time justifying his last minute change of mind. The following day, Earl warily accepted Boo's entreaty to become the fifth member of his alliance, but confessed that he is trusting no one in it completely, bar Yau Man and Cassandra.

Cassandra dominated at the Reward Challenge, displaying an intuitive understanding of how her tribemates think by guessing the majority answers in a series of revealing questions. She earned Mookie's potential enmity when she sent him packing to Exile Island, and may have stepped on more toes back at Bula Bula, when she had to pick only three other people to share in her reward; an overnight cruise, booze 'n' snooze aboard a luxury yacht. Cassandra and Yau Man may lack the charm and tactfulness of their leader Earl, but they did what they could to ensure the future allegiance of Boo- whose dedication to the 'Syndicate' now seems as staunch as that of a puppy to its master- and Dreamz, who is still rather reluctant, at this crucial point, to pick a side.

Earl wasn't slow to pick up on this back at camp, especially when he stumbled upon Dreamz and Alex deep in vote-related conversation at the water hole. In the ensuing confrontation, mediated by Cassandra, Dreamz threw a curveball by revealing that Mookie has the (other) hidden Immunity Idol, and that both Alex and Edgardo know about it. A visibly flustered Earl- who, incidentally, won't be winning an Academy Award any time soon- had to let Dreamz off the hook for sharing this juicy morsel, though the revelation seemed more an act of desperation on Dreamz's part than anything else. As Yau put it, this new information means they really have to "rethink how this will play out."

As predicted, Yau Man triumphed in the endurance-based Immunity Challenge, though a surprisingly nimble Boo put up a good fight. The scheming came thick and fast following the Challenge: Earl was initially targeted by the Four Horsemen, while a noncommittal Stacy forced them to bring their Idol into play ahead of time; Dreamz, having convinced his fellow chevaliers that Alex's head was on the chopping block, went behind their backs and told Earl & Co. that Alex now planned on using the Idol to save himself at Tribal. The vote changed to Mookie for a while, but when Stacy brought up the possibility of a double-bluff by Dreamz, she and the other four decided to vote for Edgardo, without informing Dreamz.

A last minute change of mind by the Four Horsemen did nothing to alter the outcome of the vote at Tribal Council; Alex unnecessarily played the hidden idol, and watched in horror as The Syndicate's vote swung to the unsuspecting Edgardo. Dreamz's sole vote for Mookie will not go unnoticed by the rapidly dwindling Horsemen either. Will this mean their end is rather nigh?

* * *

Idol Hands: Alex may have been a bit too ready to make excuses for Mookie, possibly so he wouldn't have to aknowledge the frangible (it's a word) nature of their alliance, but at least he had the foresight to break Mookie's grip on the recently discovered Ravu Idol. It really was time that Mookie was called out on this point; Alex basically delivered an ultimatum: you can have the Idol, or this alliance, but not both. Not that Mookie could've walked away with the little turtle that easily, but at least the terms of the arrangement were out in the open. Alex suggested they rotate possession of the Idol daily between the four Horsemen, to prove they trust one another- to "seal the final four in blood", as he rather dramatically put it. This would be a cumbersome idea in practise, especially considering the conspicuous nature of the Idol handover witnessed later in the episode; it was more a test of Mookie's loyalty, seeing what he was prepared to give up for the greater good of the alliance.

Mookie had to bear the brunt of all this on account of Dreamz's last minute decision to vote for Michelle instead of Stacy, and he was rightfully pissed off about that. Dreamz's reason for voting for Michelle seemed rather weak: she had said at Tribal that she didn't really know him and didn't know if she could trust him, which had made him realise the same things about her. That's all well and good, but it's not as if he knew Stacy any better, except that she had been a bit of a bee with an itch in the past, and her presence in Alex's alliance threatened his own future in the game. Such capricious behaviour should be a red flag for Mookie: Dreamz can't be trusted.

With Caissa: Speaking of red flags, or at least red hats, Boo has found a cosy little spot for himself in Earl's 'Syndicate', now that Michelle is gone and Earl needs to bulk up his numbers. With both 'wild card' Dreamz and 'manipulative' Mookie still not being trusted, Boo seems to have slipped comfortably into third place in Earl's little chess game, behind Yau Man and Cassandra, a position that last week would have been unimaginable.

Even more surprising was Stacy's nonchalant shift into the Syndicate late in the episode; she shrugged off her incipient alliance with Alex with barely a word, and insinuated herself into proceedings at the opposing faction with admirable assertiveness. The switch was prompted by Yau Man, but Stacy could obviously see the writing was on the wall for the Horsemen, and that it would be in her best interests to jump stable. With his lieutenant freely recruiting, Earl has his work cut out to keep all his pieces in check. But as he said, poised theatrically on a craggy hilltop as the camera wheeled overhead, "I like playing this game. And I am still here."

It's A Very Ancient Saying: The 'Getting To Know You' challenge returned this season, bringing with it little ego boosts for some (Yau, Earl) and kicks in the teeth, or sand in the eye, for others (Stacy, Boo, Stacy). It's always interesting to watch what names recur in this kind of game, and try to figure out if people are simply choosing the answer they themselves gave, or if they're genuinely trying to guess what the majority of the tribe wrote down. And of course the order and force with which players are dispatched can reveal vital nuggets of information to the attentive viewer. Let's take a look at some of the questions, and the feather-ruffling responses.

QUESTION 1: Who would you trust with your life?
ANSWER: EARL

No surprise here that Earl was the most popular answer, or that Yau Man, Cassandra and Boo guessed it correctly. Earl probably voted for himself too, but couldn't really get away with revealing that in front of everyone. Mookie said Alex, and Alex, completely out of touch it seems, said Dreamz! A bad start for Stacy anyway, who took three consecutive hits, and became the first to leave the challenge. Ouch!

QUESTION 2: Who are you least likely to invite to a family dinner?
ANSWER: BOO

Correct answers from Cassandra, Mookie, Dreamz and Alex, and a double blow for poor Boo, who not only got snubbed at the dinner party, but also took three hits and joined Stacy on the loser's bench.

QUESTION 3: Who most has a sense of entitlement?
ANSWER: ALEX

Only Cassandra and Mookie guessed correctly on this one, Mookie at least recognising that Alex may come across a tad cocky, if not actually thinking it himself. Similarly, Alex assumed the same of Mookie. Oddly, it wasn't possible to see whose name Earl chose.

QUESTION 4: Who would you most like to be stranded on an island with?
ANSWER: YAU MAN

Yau Boi finally got the recognition he deserves, and everybody except Alex guessed correctly on this one, resulting in a lot of damage in the subsequent tower-smashing spree. Earl and Mookie exchanged blows, and Edgardo's follow-up took Earl out of the game. Seemingly in retribution, Yau Man (who shared none of Earl's reticence in volunteering his own name) took Edgardo down a peg; and rather tellingly, Dreamz delivered the final blow to Alex, taking him out of the game.

QUESTION 5: Who do you not want to see again, after the game?
ANSWER: STACY!

Everybody left in the game got this one right; unfortunately we never got to see whose name Stacy would have guessed. Would she have had the insight- or temerity- to suggest herself? Lots more damage done this round, anyway: Yau and Cassandra exchanging blows with Dreamz and Mookie, respectively, resulting in the latter's expulsion from the game.

QUESTION 6: Who smells the worst?
ANSWER: DREAMZ

Surprisingly, Cassandra took this opportunity to wipe Yau Man out of the game, rather than attacking Edgardo. That must've...ahem...put his nose out of joint.

QUESTION 7: Who mistakenly believes they are in control of this game?
ANSWER: ALEX

It was interesting that the two incorrect answers were Boo and Stacy, ostensibly the two players with the least control in the game at this point. We know that Boo has convinced himself that he is merely biding his time until he can reclaim leadership, but surely it's obvious that Stacy knows she's bottom of the totem pole right now? Cassandra dispenses with Edgardo; she and Dreamz each have two towers remaining at this point.

QUESTION 8: Who has wasted this great opportunity?
ANSWER: STACY

A slightly ambiguous question- how does one qualify 'waste', and precisely what 'opportunity' is being referred to?- but when in doubt, vote Stacy! Cassandra demolishes Dreamz's penultimate tower, and is poised to win the Challenge in the next round.

QUESTION 9: Athletically, who has surprised you the most?
ANSWER: YAU MAN

Again, no surprise that the majority vote on this one went to 'Demolition' Man, Immunity Challenge champion of the past several episodes. Dreamz somewhat sycophantically nominated Cassandra for the honour, though his flattery can't have hurt later on, when Cassandra had to choose her three yacht buddies. She thankfully didn't take Edgardo up on his offer/threat: the only thing licking Cassandra's feet was the tide as she waded out to the boat.

Bad Dreamz: Cass chose Dreamz straight off the bat, then Boo, and finally Yau Man, becasue he "works so hard and [...] needed a break." Dreamz and Boo were chosen because Cassandra still wasn't sure where she stood with them, and wanted an opportunity to work them over and make sure that they were on her side; to 'brainwash' them, as Yau Man put it. Earl looked disappointed when he wasn't chosen, although having to leave the gentle art of persuasion to his deputies was probably a major part of that. In any case, Dreamz seemed to respond more to the companionship and fun he found on board than to any talk of being 'part of the Syndicate'. He made no effort to hide the fact that he's still in two minds over which faction he should allign himself with, and Cassandra wasn't slow in noticing it: "I think Dreamz is playing both sides right now, because I can't sense in his eyes one hundred percent commitment to our alliance."

This doesn't seem like a conscious decision on Dreamz's part- a clever ploy to play both sides against each other- but rather the result of the emotional connections he has to members of both parties. He said, "My heart's tellin' me go with Cassandra...it's like I'm being tugged in every direction- except my own." It's as if he wants to be friends with everyone- to be liked by everyone- but that's not possible in a game like Survivor. There comes a point where you have to decide what's more important to you, your relationships with your tribemates, or progressing in the game. If Dreamz takes too long making that decision, he'll end up on the jury bench sooner than he'd like.

What's So Great About The Waterhole?: It's unclear how much Earl heard of the lengthy conversation between Dreamz and Alex the next day. He probably missed the comparison of Mookie and the Idol to Gollum and The One Ring, but the gist of the conversation, and its significance, was obvious even without hearing Dreamz warn Alex that his name was going to come up at Tribal. This may have all been part of Dreamz's plan to flush out the Horsemen's idol, but without telling anyone about it, it's no wonder Earl was doubtful of his motivations. The subsequent revelation to Earl, Cassandra and Yau, that Mookie has the no-longer-hidden Ravu idol, was another strange and upsetting bombshell for Earl, coming out of the blue as it did. Granted it proved to be vital and beneficial intelligence for the Syndicate in the end, but it raises serious questions about the reliability of Dreamz as a carrier of information.

Earl summed it up perfectly: "Dreamz [...] is tryin' to do a lot of strategy on his own, and yes, it could be effective, but if you don't tell people what you're doing, [they're] not gonna trust [you]. Especially someone that has all these little antics and little things about them that I still question anyway."

And we got to witness Earl's admirable acting skills as he pretended to have never seen one of the hidden Idols before. "What's it look like?...It's a turtle?...Note my wide eyes and high-pitched, incredulous voice. Note them."

No Hips, No Back, No Butt: The Immunity Challenge itself wasn't particularly memorable, but the behaviour of some of the participants was noteworthy for its eccentricity. At the twenty-two minute mark, Edgardo began tapping a little tune on the wood of his enclosure. Mookie, who up until that point had looked 'like a fixed piece of art', shot him a glance as if trying to unscramble some obscure code in the tattoo. Boo then joined the ensemble, shouting "MEKE!" and "YOO-DOO!", and peering out from under his hat like a budgie. Soon after, Edgardo fell from his perch, the first casualty of a challenge that didn't reward his peculiar toe-tapping technique.

Incidentally, if anyone knows why Boo is promoting the fluid ounce unit of volume on his hat, do share.

Smokin' Aces & Falling Faces: Seemingly Mookie did a lot of soul-searching during his time on Exile Island. Not only did he come back with a scheme to demolish Cassandra by systematically wiping out her allies, and deduce that Earl probably has the other hidden Idol, but he also finally committed himself to furthering the Four Horsemen's cause above his own: "I will not be faltered [sic], I will not be railroaded...this is the order we vote: Earl, Yau Man, Boo. It's done."

Stacy shared none of his forthrightness: rather than lying to Alex, or indeed telling him the truth, she chose to remain silent about her change of heart (and allegiance), even under direct questioning. Apparently she thought Alex would, y'know, get the message, if she just stared at him for long enough. Alex is quite bad at reading people, especially for a lawyer, or maybe he's just too trusting of them, and he had to be convinced by Edgardo that Stacy was 'not in, dude.' It was also Edgardo that finally persuaded Mookie to hand over the Idol, something he may have regretted, since the vote probably would've stayed centred on Alex had the rather blatant exchange never occured.

Alex and Edgardo displayed such confidence in their plan, and such glee at it's imminent execution: "This is an all or nothing move, but if it works out it'll probably be one of the best moves ever!" "This is brilliant!" Unfortunately for them, Stacy was thinking two or three steps beyond that, and Earl had the resources to effect some strong countermeasures, even taking the precaution of keeping Dreamz ignorant of the final decision. The plan played out flawlessly at Tribal Council, in all its horrifying, cringe-inducing glory. Rocky, on the jury, appreciated it at least, once he had figured out what was going on.

Dreamz's prophetic observation at Tribal is an appropriate way to wrap up coverage of what some have rather hyperbolically called the "best Survivor episode EVER in the history of Survivor!", to wit "This vote is going to determine everything in the game; it's going to seperate the snakes from the rats, right here."

Which category he himself falls into remains to be seen.

* * *

Quote of the Week: Not a particularly remarkable quote from Jeff, but striking for the response it elicited from Alex. Jeff opined, "Alex played the hidden Immunity Idol tonight; turns out you didn't need it," and Alex glowered back as if to say, "Gee, thanks, Jeff, I hadn't noticed that."

Also, Mookie deserves a mention for his misplaced faith in the power of his allies. "Call it revenge, but I'm gunning for her (Cassandra). I just have to get in touch with the Four Horsemen, and it's done."

He does realise he's one of them, doesn't he?

Predictions for Next Week: The recently played Idol is actually re-hidden inside Yau Man's bag; events conspire to knock Dreamz from his fence; and Alex comes up with a 'foolproof' plan to win the game and solve that pesky global warming problem.

* Introduction by John Milius and Francis Coppola. Kinda.

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Saturday 11 August 2007

Fiji 14.9: The Purple Colour


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Thursday 2 August 2007

Episode Nine: Emergent Behaviour

Four ghastly spectres appear at the crest of the hill, their hideous bulks supported by nightmare charges who impatiently paw the stony soil. Silhouetted as they are against the pallid, bloated moon, you find it hard to make out their features; something, a feeling deep in the gut, assures you that to look any closer would be foolish- perhaps terminally so. But now you have no choice; the figures have begun to descend, knocking aside bushes and dislodging rocks as you stand below them, rooted to the earth. It's a dry night- it hasn't rained in days- but you feel something wet snake beneath your collar and down your back.

The foremost wraith approaches, its cthonic form shrouded in a cloak the colour of despair. As it dismounts, a loud hacking cough erupts from behind; one of the other riders is doubled over across its mount's back, its ribcage exposed and heaving, struggling to expel the foul contents of its rotting lungs. To one side, it's emaciated companion watches through sunken, catarrhal eyes; a look of grim expectation as it works its glistening maw. The third rider, armour sleek as oil in the moonlight, stands poised in the stirrups as its mount writhes beneath it. There is excitement written on its flushed visage; fire and pain flicker in its dark eyes.

The fourth apparition is upon you now; obsidian rifts in place of eyes, and a snarling rictus that seems to hint at a joke you will never comprehend. It leans across to whisper in your ear, and when it speaks your skin puckers beneath the rimy draught. The words fall like anvils on a neutron star. The phantom intones:

A'right mate! You didn't happen to catch this week's Survivor by any chance? Only I forgot to set the bleedin' tape. Typical, eh?"

You slowly raise your arm, and stretch out a trembling finger. In that direction lies your salvation; in that direction lies the Survivor: Emerald Isle blog, and the rest of this post. The figure stalks away, disappearing into the greedy night. Its final words drift back on the wind...

Ooh, a merge! I thought as much...

* * *

The episode began with what we would soon learn to be our last visit to camp Ravu. With the Immunity Idol now quite literally tucked away in their pocket, Ravu's 'Four Horsemen' were counting on a relatively straightforward gallop into the Final Four, though Mookie's 'selfish' streak and Dreamz being kept out of the loop would later come back to bite them on the rump. Tree-mail came early to both tribes, and brought with it ominous portents and wild speculations. The tribes were instructed to leave all their stuff at camp, and paddle directly to Exile Island, bringing only their personal items and their canteens.

Plans to infiltrate and sabotage Moto should a merge arise were devised at Ravu, and soon the tribes found themselves reunited on the shores of Exile Island. Instructions and new buffs were uncovered- eventually- and tribes Moto and Ravu were officially retired atop Exile's austere tower. A 'relieved' and 'elated' tribe of 10 returned to camp Moto, to discover that somebody had snuck in through the bathroom window and stolen the TV, so to speak; luxurious Moto was no more, and the gang were back to square one. Some members of the newly-christened Bula Bula took it harder than others, and some were secretly pleased at the implications. With head honchos Earl and Alex both stepping up their respective games in the aftermath, the scheming, lies and false-plays resumed in earnest.

Bula Bula were in for a bewildering surprise when they were randomly redivided at the Immunity Challenge, and with the losing team going immediately to Tribal Council- and, crucially, not containing loose cannon Boo, whom both factions had agreed should be the first to go- jolly goat Michelle was sacrificed in a confused, but revelatory, voting session. It could be a hard blow for Earl, but with Dreamz seemingly adrift and miffed with the other Horsemen, both Immunity Idols now in play, and (presumably) the first Individual Immunity Challenge next week, the beginning of the endgame is finally here.

* * *

Of The Apocalypse: Everything seemed rosy for Alex and co. for a while, but the seeds of destruction were already in the ground, and now the shoots are beginning to show. Mookie has pocketed the Idol, and is intent on using it for his own good, when the time comes. Despite Edgardo's threat that he will 'bleep him over, man' if he does so, it's obvious that Mookie has no qualms about using the Idol against his 'allies'. Dreamz was kept in the dark about the idol because 'he's a liability' and 'not good about keeping information to himself', and the fear was that he'd tell Cassandra once the tribes merged. Now that Dreamz has finally been told about the Idol- a seemingly dumb move on Mookie's part- it has only made him distrustful of the other guys, and more likely to betray them. Ironically, if they had brought Dreamz into their confidence immeditaely, he would probably remain loyal to them.

Mookie ran the risk of getting Alex and Edgardo pissed off with him when he told Dreamz, and as expected he received a bit of a tongue-lashing. But he was perceptive enough to realise that things weren't quite as balanced as they should be, especially with the possibility that Alex would bring Stacy (an old Moto) into the mix. By reaching out to Dreamz, Mookie has strengthened their alliance, and hopes to reap the benefits later in the game. Had he gone behind Alex's and Edgardo's backs to do so, Mookie would've been taking a big risk; doing it as he did, in a 'by the way' aside in front of Alex, was the smartest and least damaging way of going about it.

All of this activity is bubbling away as the Four Horsemen put their plan to dissect Moto into action. Dreamz was charged with getting Cassandra on their side; Mookie would attempt to get Michelle, and/or Yau Man; and Alex would try to 'pull' Stacy. Alex had a fairly straightforward job with old tribemate Stacy, and Mookie didn't have much trouble reconnecting with his old Ravu buddies either. Dreamz and Cassandra were happy to be back in each other's company again, and both seem to assume they have the other on their side right now. Although which side, if any, Dreamz is currently on remains to be seen.

Early Days: Earl is calling the shots in the other main faction of the new Bula Bula; the 'tribe within a tribe' which also contains Yau Man, Michelle and Cassandra. From the way Earl and Cassandra were talking on the beach, they are assuming that they 'definitely' have Dreamz too, though it's not clear when the deal was brokered; it seems to be an assumption that because he and Cassandra are tight, Dreamz is now part of Earl's clique. The clip from next week, in which Dreamz tells them about the Idol, would seem to confirm this. Mookie, as an ex-Ravu member, had better legs to stand on when it came to ingratiating himself with his old tribe, but Yau Man was astute enough to 'trust nobody here', and Earl professed the same in direct reference to Mookie, so it remains to be seen whether he's fooling anybody.

Earl's plan is fairly similar to Alex's: to infiltrate the opposition and take them down one by one. The executions of said plans are disparate though, reflecting Earl's laid-back, smooth-talking nature. "Keep them thinking that they have you," he told Cassandra, "keep them thinking that I'm not thinking, and we just sail on." Cool as the breeze.

It's interesting to note how fast and total was Cassandra's conversion to Earl and the other Ravuites, though it's not particularly surprising, given the weak ties she had with her old Moto tribe. What is surprising is that she and Earl think nobody has or will notice it. Between the hand-delivered coffee and the twilit rendezvous on the beach, it should be clear where Cassandra's loyalty lies...mm-hmm.

Naturally, the faction with the majority vote will have the advantage. Assuming Dreamz has flipped (and with Michelle out of the picture) we are left with two groups of four, and Boo, who may become a very popular boy in the forthcoming days.

Boy In Da Corner: The pratfalls and tomfoolery aside, Boo has maintained a low profile in the game thus far. He has performed well at challenges, and doesn't cause friction at camp, but the only strategising on his part seems to have taken place exclusively in his head. It's true that he had his niche in the first and second Moto tribes- not difficult in a tribe defined by non-contention- but his assertion that 'when it's time' he would 'assume the leadership role again' was faintly delusional, given that he'd never had such a role in the first place. At any rate, a clearly anxious Boo realised that his head was on the chopping block this week; having 'dodged a bullet', he may now feel more inclined to make a foray into the Machiavellian machinations of the game proper. As already discussed, now is the perfect time for him to make a move; let's just hope he doesn't encounter any rakes- or snakes- in the grass as he proceeds.

Two Become 2: Apparently intent on keeping the 'two tribes' dynamic going for as long as possible, the show's creators subjected us to an unorthodox post-Merge Immunity Challenge, in which the nascent Bula Bula tribe was redivided into two teams and sent to battle as before. It's difficult to think of a valid argument for this retrograde behaviour, though theories abound; Edgardo's bemused, or resigned response summed up this apparent twist-for-twist's-sake: "I don't know what to expect anymore."

A fairly straightforward challenge ensued, and unsurprisingly Yau Man brought his team another victory. Alex fought hard for his team, doing two jobs at once, but the Ravu curse seemed to persist: he, Dreamz, Mookie, Stacy and Michelle were sent to Tribal Council immediately, giving them little time for plans or strategy. Like the challenge itself, it seems that this 'instant Tribal' was employed to elicit a wholly unpredictable, and presumably damaging, vote; one that would keep the boat rocking under Bula Bula's feet. It was a little unfair to deny half the tribe the traditional Merge Feast, even if it was appropriate to this season's rich/poor theme.

Assuming Exile Island comes back into play once the individual challenges begin- and there's no reason to believe it won't- we can hopefully look forward to some deliciously vengeful banishments, and somebody discovering (and using!) Moto's peculiar 'third' idol...

It's Not The End Of The World: Before the Challenge, Mookie and Dreamz had a few moments alone in which to discuss the Stacy Problem, i.e., if Alex brings her into their alliance, it can only benefit him and Edgardo, and prove dangerous for Mookie and Dreamz. They both agreed not to 'play into Alex's hands' in such a way, Dreamz being particularly vehement, perhaps for reasons personal aswell as strategical. His comment that he was, "...looking forward to voting out Stacy, 'cause she treated me so bad when I was with the old Moto...and all of a sudden she's happy and nice and glad to see me [...] 'cause I got friends, and she ain't got the power no more," was quite poignant, in an Enid Blyton, school-bully-gets-their-comeuppance kind of way.

Anyway, all this made what happened at Tribal Council all the more interesting, especially since Jeff's question session was (apparently) the only chance the Survivors had to (cryptically) discuss voting strategies with each other. After a couple of throwaway questions, Jeff began asking each of them for a reason to vote off any of the others. Alex made his intention to vote for Michelle fairly explicit, and said that he didn't have a reason to get rid of anyone else. Jeff asked Dreamz if he thought people were using this Q&A session to communicate their intentions, and of course that was the whole point of it in the first place. Dreamz aknowledged this, but then went on to say of Alex, "He don't have to talk to me; he's one of the people I do trust in the game."

This must have worried Mookie slightly, and when asked how he thought tonight's vote would change the game he responded, "...it's going to reveal some things to the other guys (back at camp), and they're going to see who's been telling the truth and who's been lying." Through the magic of the Tribal Translator Tool, we can determine that this was as much to say to Dreamz, "Dude, we're supposed to be tight with the Ravu gang. If we vote for Michelle now, it'll give everything away. Plus, we can vote for Stacy, like we agreed, and use the excuse that we didn't want to blow our cover to justify it to Alex and Edgardo. This is a good thing."

Now, it'd be easy to assume that Dreamz simply didn't pick up on this, and went along with Alex's broad hint to vote for Michelle. But what if Dreamz actually realised that he could hang Mookie out to dry? Mookie's vote for Stacy was akin to a neon sign pointing out to the other Horsemen that he is no longer (or never was) part of their alliance. What would Dreamz hope to gain from this though? How about the complete trust of Alex and co., and one less person to share their Immunity Idol? And how will he atone for his vote to Cassandra, Earl et al? Well, divulging the presence of said Idol might go some way to deflecting the fallout from his actions. It'd be surprising if Dreamz was operating at such high levels of guile and chicanery, but stranger things have happened.

Moto Way Ends: Stacy's earlier remarks to Michelle- that the two of them would be safe now because they were 'non-threats', and the 'super-competitive' boys would vote each other off first- proved almost laughably misguided, given the final outcome of the voting. They made a pretty flag though.

Earl has lost 'a key component' in his strategy, as he put it, and it'll be interesting to see how he deals with the ramifications. He also said that 'a lot of truth' would be revealed by the vote- very perceptive, that Earl. Will he take the possibly ostracised Mookie under his wing? And if so, could we see an alliance with two Immunity Idols at its disposal, assuming Mookie is able to 'steal' it from under Edgardo's bleepin' nose? Whatever happens, Earl is going to have to work fast with tribemates old and new to get his cabal- The Coleition, if you will- back on even keel.

Words Of War: Alex: "The moment has finally arrived...these first couple of hours are really crucial: they're gonna determine who [makes it to] the Final Five." "I'm ready to fight!"

Earl: "I'm happy about the Merge...now the game is really on; it's time to take it to the advanced level." "This is real Survivor"

Edgardo: "Right now we have to get nasty."

Activate!

* * *

Quote of the Week: Alex, at the prospect of having to live on the barren Exile Island: "Is this the cannibalism part?"

Hmm, that probably won't be for another few weeks yet, methinks.

Predictions for Next Week: Yau Man endures at one of the infamous 'endurance' challenges, easily winning Immunity, but refuses to come down from the pole, claiming to have discovered some of Lisi's 'spiritual enlightenment bullshit' atop it's mossy summit. Also, is it about time for the loved ones to appear? Roll on the tears!

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Saturday 28 July 2007

Fiji 14.8: En Gardo!


click it to view the comic at full size.

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Thursday 26 July 2007

Episode Eight: Don't Feel Like Dancing, Dancing

Like the slightly balding DJ at your second cousin's wedding (you know, the cousin you don't really like, but your respective mothers were best friends all through school or something, so you kind of feel obliged) I urge you all to get on the dance floor (i.e. this blog) while I spin this hip new record (discuss this week's episode of Survivor) and spout inane platitudes and well-worn clichés (that part's not entirely metaphorical, actually). But you sit torpid at your trestle tables, picking at the remains of the wedding cake and bemoaning the lack of a live band. The youngsters will be dancing soon, once their supply of lurid, and no doubt poisonous beverages dwindles. We better get out there, and show 'em how it's done!

Come on! I want to see you all on the floor for this next one!

* * *

Last week, Moto's hidden Immunity Idol was uncovered; this week it was Ravu's turn to do a little digging. The comatose Lisi and Dreamz were kept out of the loop as Alex, Edgardo and Mookie got to work. They soon had the wee turtle in their collective back pockets, and a gloriously oblivious Lisi led her conniving squad into the Reward Challenge, where the recently tutored (and painted and decorated) tribes would compete in a Fijian dance-off. Earl seemed to go native for a while, leading Moto to another victory, and the ensuing feast/hoedown at the local village. Lisi endured another night on Earl- pardon me- Exile Island, her lately regained composure washing away in the storm like yesterday's sand castles.

At Moto, Earl and Michelle decided that Stacy should be given her marching orders as soon as possible; her ties to Alex and the other ex-Motoans would be dangerous as the inevitable merge approaches, and the fact that such a move might scare Boo into line would be an added bonus. Tree-mail arrived in the form of an arrow, which the archery amateur Edgardo took as a sign that it was his time to shine. Unfortunately, nobody had informed Yau Man to dim his lights; backed by Boo, Yau secured another Moto triumph, as tribemate Earl sat by, awaiting the turn he was never required to take.

A disillusioned Lisi informed Alex- and thence the rest of Ravu- that she had had enough of the game, and wanted to be the next one to go. Dreamz was more than willing to oblige, and even a last minute change of mind on Lisi's part didn't persuade her buds Alex and Edgardo to change their's again. A unanimous 4-1 vote saw Lady Ambivalence head for the hills, or at least wherever it is the jury members hang out between Tribal Councils. Ravu are down to four; will the merge come in time to save another of its members an ignominious ejection from the all-night Survivor disco?

* * *

While You Were Really, Really Sleeping: This week's moment of delicious dramatic irony presented itself in the first act, so to speak. The line couldn't have been better scripted had ol' Bill himself been reanimated for the purpose. Lisi, having had the Idol stolen literally from under her toes, then persuaded herself that she had caught Mookie in the act before any damage was done, and had the misguided temerity to proclaim: "Dude, you're gonna have to wake up really, really early to fool an old cat like me." Lisi dear, you may want to reset your alarm clock.

Caught as he was with his thumb in the pie, Mookie played along very nicely, even going so far as to help her when Lisi decided to have her own little root around for the Idol. Incidentally, they appeared to be using the flame-thrower poles from last week's Reward Challenge; it's strange that they were allowed to retain such useful implements. Mookie seems to be playing everybody at this stage, since he firmly believes that the Idol is in one pocket, his own. With three people sharing it, it's almost certain that some backs are going to be perforated before it gets played. Already, Dreamz has been excluded from his supposed alliance with Alex, Edgardo and Mookie, although if you feel secure enough to sleep through all those shenanigans, on day 20, perhaps that's what you deserve.

...And That's The Way It Is: Before the Reward Challenge, Lisi commented that she doesn't take the Challenges seriously: "I don't think we should be out there brooding about 'we gotta win, we gotta eat that food'." It was ostensibly included as a pointer to the reason for Ravu's forthcoming loss, accompanied as it was with shots of Lisi mucking up at practice, and getting shouted at by the Fijian dance instructor. But perhaps she's right; perhaps if the rest of Ravu were able to adopt the same attitude, they would be more likely to succeed. This phenomenon- Ravu being too wound up to perform at challenges- was discussed last week, so it probably doesn't bear repeating, but it does seem that, with every loss, Ravu become more desperate for a win, and hence- ironically- less likely to attain one.

That said, Earl wasn't taking things very lightly when he led Moto onto the dance floor. He took to the gyrations like a funky duck to water, nailing the moves and even pulling off the grass skirt with aplomb. Come challenge time, he had a look of focussed determination that was almost unsettling in its ferocity. Fortunately we had the spectacle of Boo getting to know his inner ballerina to lighten the mood; caked in face-paint and bounding about like a modern-day Quasimodo being attacked by an office plant.

Even their resident cheerleading coach couldn't secure Ravu a win; they were a little uncoordinated, and leaderless, spending most of the time in a boyband-esque line of five across the dance area. Props must be given to Dreamz though, for his standing back-flip thingy at the end of Ravu's set. I think the judges were impressed too, but not enough, evidently; they probably still had Earl's adamantine glare seared across their retinae.

A Dark And Stormy Night: Barbed tongues of lightning brand the night sky like writhing, incandescent tapeworm. The rain seems to have accelerated beyond the point that common gravity- and decency- should allow, the drops coalesced into a single implacable sheet, as though the seas themselves have come to reclaim the land. Waves crash and leaves rattle, adding to Mother Nature's cacophonous roar. There have been storms here before, wild nights without end, that threatened to tear the soil from its bedrock like a week-old scab. There has never been anything like this.

A lone figure stands atop a wooden tower, gripping the rail so tightly in her hands that the knuckles protrude, like the teeth on a cadaver's skull. Her copper hair whiplashes around her head in the turbulent air, as though her thoughts are attempting to flee their corporeal prison in the face of this awesome tempest. Her cheeks are flushed, and soaking wet; whether with rain or with tears it is impossible to tell. She leans out across the rail, her body taut, poised dangerously on the brink; below her, the jungle is dark and loud, the machinations of some vast, incomprehensible beast. The pulsing firmament above is reflected in the depths of her wide eyes as she inhales the night air, takes the obsidian ether deep into her lungs. She releases it as a scream, a cry, a primeval roar that pierces even this most barbarous of nights.

At first, the exclamation is too intense to fathom; the mind is not built to comprehend artefacts of such raw emotion. But we hear it return as an echo, even as the storm, having been bested, suddenly begins to subside. The words are terrifying in their simplicity; beautiful in their profundity.

They are thus: "This sucks! Hahaha!"

Man On Fire: Earl and his little spy Michelle are the first to wake at Moto; they usually have a little debriefing session- recon reports, minor strategy adjustments, that kind of thing- in the morning while 'everybody else (is)
just laying there', presumably still asleep. This was explained to us by Earl, while Yau Man was in shot, starting the fire. Is Yau Man invisible now? Does nobody notice how valuable he is? He almost single-handedly won the Immunity Challenge for Moto; perhaps Earl should be a tad worried that 'his' tribe performed so well that he was surplus to requirements. Not that anyone on Moto, with the possible exception of Stacy, would have the inclination, or nous, to start an anti-Earl campaign at this point in the game; it must be pretty cramped in Earl's pocket at the moment. Metaphorically.

Speaking of cramped conditions, how perceptive of Michelle to notice that the (again, metaphorical) beach towel's not big enough for both her and Stacy. The two of them are remarkably similar, and even Survivor aficionados have expressed sporadic confusion over which gal's which. Michelle seems to have the upper hand right now, with Earl's artillery at her disposal, but will Moto need to 'pull an Aitu' and purposely lose a challenge before they can vote a member off?

Yau Man will probably continue to go unnoticed for now, which is a good thing really: the longer you stay off that radar, the better your chances of making the Final Four. Come the merge, the individual Immunity Challenges should be very interesting; can Yau's unorthodox, logical approach to even physical tasks compete with the brawn that's coming from Ravu? And don't forget Boo's pretty impressive track record at challenges thus far...besides the dancing, obviously. And the blindness last week...Wait, what was my point again?

Coming And/Or Going: Jeff's comment at the end of Tribal Council- that 'you have to want to win' to stay in the game- may be trite, but that doesn't make it any less true. Lisi thought she had the luxury of deciding whether she could stay in the game or not, based on some idealised version of the friendship she had built with Alex and Edgardo. Doubtless they both genuinely like(d) Lisi, but Alex's remark that he was 'pissed off' at losing her 'solid vote' in the future, revealed a lot about his priorities in the game. Lisi defended her decision to leave by saying, "I've run the gamut in this game: I've been rich; I've been poor; I've been in exile. What more have I got to do?" Alex was 'not going to judge Lisi', but the unspoken retort from him seemed to be "Well, win, maybe? D'uh."

This would have all been well and good had Lisi not defended her decision in another, less commendable way, i.e., the 'my tribe are a bunch of losers!' rant. Ravu have a fairly abysmal track record, but Lisi spoke as if she had never been a part of the tribe; standing in the crow's nest, pointing out the holes in your 'sinking ship' is fine, but why don't you shut up for a moment and help with the bailing? Bad Ace Ventura impressions, and recycled lines from Friends aren't going to help matters.

Alex and Edgardo were visibly perplexed and annoyed when, ten minutes before Tribal Council, Lisi decided that maybe she kinda wanted to stay after all. At this stage they had probably had enough of her capricious behaviour, and her comments at Tribal only hammered the coffin's nails home. Though it may be truthful, the fact that your will is 'wavering from minute to minute' and that 'there are times when you're just not up to it', are not things you reveal at Tribal Council, of all places. Lisi's final plea to her tribe- "Just gimme a chance...just let me see what happens."- was slightly ludicrous, really. You may have your cake, crazy lady, but you can't eat it here.

(One last Lisi-related nugget: At one point, before the Reward Challenge, Dreamz announced that "We are mighty Fijian warriors!", a nice attempt at boosting morale, and getting people psyched for the challenge. Lisi's response? A loud clucking sound, akin to a large chicken or turkey. Truly bizzare.)

Dreamz Can Come Through: Dreamz may not be the most skilled of social meneuverers, and he has a tendency to get slightly cocky from time to time, but all is overlooked for now, on account of his performance at Tribal Council. He was surprisingly succinct, and accurate, in his appraisal of Lisi, and when the "Jeff, I'm ready to vote!" comment popped out, even he had to stifle a smile. Lisi's attempt to turn Dreamz's critique of her- "She gives up easily"- back on him was misguided and plain inaccurate. Dreamz said, "You never see me give up...I can't give up. It's not in me; it can't be in me." And that actually seems to ring true.

He also told us that if he dies, we should 'recipitate' him at the finish line. Which doesn't actually mean anything, but we can overlook that, too. Sheesh, what do you want, a bloody shek-willa-kway?

Dury Juty: The way Rocky bounded up those steps, on his way to the Jury bench, was so evocative, so familiar. I wish I could put my finger on it. (Go on, watch it, you know you want to.)

* * *

Quote of the Week: Appropriately enough, this week's quote comes from Mr. Dreamz himself, with some of his sassy street argot: "I think she wants to go home, and they call me a genie in a bottle, 'cause I grant wishes."

Magic!

(Though Lisi had a nice little zinger for Dreamz when she said, "You're a grown man, consider a name change!"

Meow!)

Les Predictions: Last week's predictions proved almost supernaturally incorrect, so I'm going to play it safe this week and prophesy a merge of some kind, or possibly a commercial airliner dumping its passengers on the beach, to be hunted down by camera-shy monsters and ever-widening plot holes. (Zing!)

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Saturday 21 July 2007

Tuesday 17 July 2007

Episode Seven: Everything's Just Hunky Deoraí

This week's blow-by-blow account has arrived, laid out before you with all the trimmings, condiments, side dishes, sauces, spices, obscure utensils- and an over-abundance of wine glasses- the famished Survivor fan needs to dissect and devour this most recent episode. Elbows off the table, please, and remember to use your napkin; we do have some standards around here. And don't forget to chew each morsel properly before you swallow; there's only so much Alka-Seltzer to go round.

Now try the grey stuff, it's delicious!

* * *

As usual, our first port of call this week was Camp Ravu; it was also Lisi's, fresh off the boat from Exile Island. She seemed to receive a warm welcome from the boys, despite the bad blood still coursing through the arteries of her relationship with Dreamz. Next we popped along to Moto, where Yau Man and Earl reenacted their Idol-finding ruse from two weeks ago. This time though it bore fruit, due in no small part to Yau Man's digging and acting skills. Then it was to the fire-flinging Reward Challenge where, as predicted, Ravu came out on top. Earl was dispatched to Exile Island, and the victors went to gorge themselves at a remote(?) Fijian Arcade, complete with a bowling alley, a simulated driving range, a pool table and a commode.

Back at Moto, Boo realised that his tribe need to 'step up their game' or they would soon lose another member, and Yau Man continued to shine by fabricating a fake Immunity Idol and burying it under his tribe's collective nose. At the Immunity Challenge, the blindfolded tribes raced to gather and assemble puzzle tiles, and a cheerily stick-slapped Moto bounded to victory, sending Ravu to yet another Tribal Council. Alex and Edgardo realised that, as the merge approaches, they'll need strength more than loyalty, and so they brought Lisi into the loop. She was quick to divulge her hazy memories of the clues to the hidden Immunity Idol, and at Tribal Council the consistently obnoxious Rocky was sent packing. It seems we may be about to witness a late comeback from a more cohesive Ravu, and Rocky, as the first member of the Jury, will have a ringside seat. Ding ding

* * *

There's Something About Lisi: From day one, or at least episode one, this gal seemed one tremulous step away from some curiously long-sleeved threads and/or a padded cell. Last week's bouts of non compos mentis only strengthened these impressions; had she continued to defragment this week, it would've been safe to assume that Lisi's head would be on the chopping block come Tribal Council.

But a much more lucid Lisi returned from Exile, and quickly found a place for herself in her new tribe. Maybe it's down to the dynamic of her new tribe- "...being around a bunch of guys is my favourite place to be, straight up"- or the caricaturising nature of the limited time we spent with the old Moto crew, but this new and improved Lisi seems to be on the right side of strange (i.e. enough to be entertaining, but not enough to make you sleep with a machete gripped firmly in your sweaty palms), and she adds an interesting flavour to the testosterone-fuelled machinations at Ravu. She didn't leave her irritating laugh on Exile, unfortunately, but if that's the price to pay for less bad-crazies, we'll just have to pony up.

Ironically, Anthony (a guy) was voted out for being too effeminate, while Lisi (a girl) won over Ravu for being the exact opposite. As the old adage goes: it ain't what you screw, it's the way that you screw it.

The Time Is Yau: Speaking of rain on your wedding day, we watched Yau Man go from strength to strength, while Boo rested on his ample laurels and resigned himself to deposing Yau at some imaginary future Tribal Council. Poor Boo still hasn't realised that Moto's tables have been thoroughly turned by the arrival of Earl & Co. at camp.

The flawless execution of the two-point plan to retrieve the hidden Immunity Idol would have been subterfuge enough for one day, but Yau then took it a whole order of magnitude beyond by creating a fake idol and burying it back in the official idol's hole, literally behind the rest of the tribe's back. The sheer craftiness of this move is almost unprecedented in Survivor lore, though painting the initials I.I. on it may have been a step too obvious. We'll just have to wait and see if anybody takes the bait, though the rather complacent old Moto will need a sharp prod- perhaps in the form of a monumental defeat in one of next week's challenges- and of course some time on Exile Island before they'll have any impetus to start looking.

Let's marvel at Yau a bit more. The diminutive dynamo never seems to take a break: chopping coconuts; making tea; finding idols; manufacturing evil frauds; and usually out-performing his seemingly more athletic colleagues at the challenges. It may have been down to clever editing, but a lampooning Mookie was made to look the fool when Yau Man effortlessly supplied Moto's first, and only, point. Granted, Ravu proceeded to destroy their opponents in the ensuing rounds, but it was a prime example of the lack of regard people have for Yau Man's abilities. "The old guy's good for something" seems to be the understatement of the week. We could have done without the extended make-out session with the Immunity Idol though. Poor little turtle.

How It's, Er, Done: Finally a win for Ravu, and a well-deserved and appropriate reward for the guys (and Lisi). Excellent performances from Mookie and Dreamz sealed the deal, while Rocky was abysmal, and tried to cover up the fact by screaming and hopping about, as if the gods themselves had conspired to make him fail. Dreamz has proved again and again that he excels at physical challenges, and Mookie's no slouch either; should they make the merge, these guys will give each other a good run for the money; and with Alex, Edgardo, Earl and Boo in the mix, things are gonna get physical, physical.

Bosses And T-shirts: Further sport was pursued at Kava Bowl (clever little pun, incidentally), Fiji's premier indoor-sports destination. How such a seemingly remote facility remains solvent is a topic outside the remit of this blog, and its presence in the show does little to bolster the notion that these people are actually isolated. These peculiarities didn't bother our emaciated Survivors though, as they heartily tucked in to a feast of hot dogs, brownies and beer, and just as heartily ducked out to the loo to admire it all a second time. Lisi made friends while Rocky alienated himself further with his unnecessary ribbing; the fact that he still hasn't been told flat out to S the F U is a puzzler, but I guess a 4-2 vote against you at Tribal is a subtle variation of same.

Edgardo was the second (third?) person to blame Rocky and his 'bad vibe' for Ravu's poor performance, and this was only after a handful of days in his company. That's pretty damning circumstantial evidence. The only person who seemed sorry to see the Rockster go was Dreamz, which was odd, given their history. Dreamz said he 'understands' Rocky; that although he throws a lot of 'false attitude', it's 'not real attutude- it's just his personality'. Who knew Dreamz was capable of such insight into another human being's psyche? Pukey Mookie refrained from writing Rocky's name down at Tribal; a smart move, given that it wasn't a swing vote, and the possibility that Rocky would be on the Jury. I certainly don't think Mookie's actions were motivated by anything as abstract as loyalty, anyway.

The following quote from Edgardo is an apt summation of the Rocky situation: "(He) criticizes everbody, is too harsh on people. People don't respect that. People don't want a guy to be criticizing you all the time, that's why they have, like, bosses and t-shirts back at home." (OK, he probably said 'bosses and teachers', but it sounded like 't-shirts'; gimme a break).

No W in Team: This week's Immunity Challenge really highlighted a fundamental difference between tribes Moto and Ravu; something that might explain their different rates of success, assuming you don't subscribe to the Rocky Curse Hypothesis. At Moto, we had Michelle atop the calling podium, bouncing around like a cheerleader, singing, dancing and eventually bouncing right off the damn thing and on to the ground (second in hilarity only to Boo's plunge from the hammock in episode two). Alex, for Ravu, yelled and pointed (to people wearing blindfolds; go figure) like a drill sergeant- 'FORWARD HALF A STEP! SMASH!'- but without notable results. The point being, Moto seemed to enjoy themselves, and walked away victorious, while Ravu, though earnest and fierce, were too tightly wound to perform at full capacity.

Obviously, the relative opulence of Camp Moto is no handicap, and with a flawless Immunity Challenge record it's easier for Moto to be confident and sanguine going into these things. Ravu have never won an Immunity Challenge, a fact that must be dispiriting to say the least; a psychological vicious circle, if you will. It's yet another artefact of the rich/poor dynamic, I suppose, though with three out of each tribe's six members only very recently relocated, would the affects have had time to kick in? Maybe I'm woolgathering; maybe Rocky was the problem all along...

Speaking of problems, note how Michelle just sort of ambled up to the puzzle table and nonchalantly solved Moto's. It was another reminder of just how well Moto operate as a team; Stacy stepping back when she felt unsure, and calling on Michelle to have a go. We have yet to see that level of selfless cooperation at Ravu.

The Blond Leading The Blind: A special mention for Boo's performance at this Challenge. The poor guy's uncoordinated enough as it is, but slap a blindfold on him and he's about as dexterous as a paraplegic starfish. Leaping about like a springbok, trying to smash the skull; his backwards-walking, fence-tapping technique to return to base; his unfortunate muddling of left and right: it was all comedy gold. The best part, though, was when he stepped up to the podium to take charge of directing Yau to the last bundle of tiles- and was struck blind. He stood there for a moment blinking like an owl, rubbing his eyes, and hollering "I'm blind right now! Hold on!' Classic Boo.

Giving Oileán Away: Alex was astute enough to bring Lisi in to his confidence, and then calmly brought up the topic of the hidden Immunity Idol, as if Lisi hadn't just arrived from the Island on which the clues are kept. Unfortunately for him, Lisi was still in breakdown mode when she read the clues, so her recollection of them was nebulous at best (and we're talking some fairly candid clues this season, to say the least). Lisi was 'lead to believe' the idol 'might be right here' (emphasis mine) on Ravu's island. Or perhaps she was being purposely vague, in an attempt to mislead Alex and give herself a little time to find it. Either way, a bit more discretion on Lisi's part wouldn't have gone awry: it appears that next week Lisi is betrayed, and Mookie is brought in on the secret.

* * *

Quote of the Week: We couldn't end this week's powwow without a little something from the recently dethroned Rocky. It also contains a peculiar endearment from Edgardo:

Location: Exterior, Camp Ravu. Our protagonists engage in conversation as they sit side by side on a log.
Edgardo: So what do you think...bitch?
Rocky: I think you shoud [expletive removed] push over, unless you wanna [expletive removed] make out with me, bro!

Such a refined young man.

Predictions for Next Week: Ravu finally win at the Immunity Challenge; Alex receives some upsetting news from home, and contemplates leaving the game; and at Tribal Council, Rocky is contractually obliged to wear a Hannibal Lecter-style muzzle to prevent him bitching, at length, about, well, everything.

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Friday 13 July 2007

Fiji 14.6: Earl Grey


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Wednesday 11 July 2007

Quiz Number 3

Dear reader,
Welcome to the next instalment of the Emerald Isle Quiz, that part of the blog where I test your Survivor knowledge and powers of observation. In undertaking this challenge/quiz, you acknowledge the risks of the task and do not hold the Emerald Isle Blog or any person, place or property thereof, responsible for the loss, damage or death of your person while partaking in this adventure. Section 52 b, paragraph 4, sub-section 3iii of The Case of Survivor TM Australia Against Michael Ooh I Fell In The Fire Burns Victim Act 2004.

There are 16 questions for you to answer today. Once your answers have been cast, the decision will be final and the winner will be asked to collect their prize immediately.*

I'm now going to start my clock.
Bloggers ready?

Go!

Q.1. Which Survivor has the following occupation?
a. advertising executive
b. coach
c. barman
d. college administration
e. computer engineer
f. lawyer
g. student

Q. 2. Which fallen Survivor used to work as?
a. witness locator
b. non profit fundraiser
c. school bus driver
d. fashion stylist
e. architect
f. single parent

Q. 3. What is their real name?
a. Rocky
b. Dreamz
c. Papa Smurf

Q. 4. Name all nine original members of Ravu?

Q. 5. Name all nine members of Moto?

Q. 6. Which Survivor on day 2, did not belong in Ravu or Moto? (Tribeless)

Q 7. What 3 numbers appear on the opening credits?

Q 8. Which 3 members of Ravu are now on Moto?

Q 9. Name the 3 original remaining members of Moto in New Moto?

Q 10. Which Survivor was not chosen for either tribe?

Q 11. What tribe will "he/ she" join on this Saturdays episode?

Q 12. Which two remaining Survivors are the only Survivors to have been to Exile Island.

Q 13. How many fish did Mookie and Dreamz catch?

Q 14. What is Mookie’s occupation?

Q 15. At tribal council who sat immediately to the left of Alex?

Q 16. Which Survivor sat behind Edgardo?

Those are the 16 questions. Answer them as quickly as possible.

***

*prize may or may not exist, we're not sure yet.

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Tuesday 10 July 2007

Episode Six: Switch and Bait

It didn't take a Survivor buff- if you'll pardon the pun- to realise that this week's episode would deviate slightly from the usual format. After an unusually comprehensive pre-credits recap, and the almost immediate arrival of tree-mail to camp (not to mention last week's brief little teasers), even a series proselyte- or 'n00b' as you kids like to say- could tell that some kind of shake-up was on the cards. Let it be noted that last week's predictions (down towards the bottom there) proved eerily prescient. Be not overly astonished, brave reader: further feats await thee in the ensuing paragraphs. Come! We have work to do!

Typical, isn't it? Just when we were all au fait with tribes Moto and Ravu, they had to go and shuffle 'em all up! Well, there's nothing for it: we shall have to delve right in and get reacquainted.

By the way, did anyone else not have subtitles for the majority of Saturday's show? What's up with that, TGCeathair?

We endured only a flyin', fly-infested visit to Camp Ravu before tree-mail arrived, and both tribes soon found themselves side-by-side, ready for their next Reward Challenge. Only it wasn't: it was Merge Time! Well, no, it wasn't that either, but buffs were dropped, and two new tribes assembled from the besoiled remains.

Edgardo and Earl initiated proceedings, each picking a member from the opposing tribe, who in turn had to pick a member from their opposing tribe, if you follow- and so on till there was only one left: Lisi. She was quickly deposed to Exile Island, having herself abandoned all rational thought, and the ability to stop talking now. Edgardo won the dubious honour of deciding which of the two new tribes would get to live at the fancy beach, but pulled the wrong colour buff, and doomed himself and his new tribemates to life at the crap camp, and perhaps even more dispiriting, to the cursed name 'Ravu' (the tribes having retained their original monikers).

Still, an all-male Ravu soon bonded back at camp over a much-needed (at least for the returning Rocky, Anthony and Mookie) feast, an inspiring quotation from Alex (another Dumas reference this week), and a spot of light-hearted misogyny. The 'burly men' went off hunter-gathering, while a freshly emasculated Anthony was volunteered to keep the home fires burning. Alterations were required at the new Moto too: a dethroned Boo worried for his future as Earl, finally, initiated his Plan, and found Cassandra quite open to the idea of turning on her old Moto comrades.

A stickler of an Immunity Challenge tested each tribe's communication skills, and a coordinated Moto were first across the line, due in no small part to Boo's level-headed instruction. Rocky was right: Ravu look good on paper; unfortunately for them, this was not a theory test.

Due to Anthony's inability to capitalise on the affects of an apparent psychotic relapse by Rocky, we said goodbye to the self-proclaimed 'black, male Cinderella' at Tribal Council. But not before another lively diatribe from Rocky, and a desperate, quivering rebuttal from Antho. Alas, it came too late to save himself, but will his departure mean redemption, finally, for Ravu? I'm afraid I lied earlier: I'm no tasseographer. You'll just have to tune in next week, like the rest of us.

* * *

The Switch: Obviously, both Edgardo and Earl had physical strength in mind when they started to build their new tribes, hence the choice of Mookie and Boo, respectively. By choosing Michelle, Boo put paid to this strategy for what would become the new Moto, but as it turned out, this may not have been such a bad thing, at least for now. Ravu consistently prioritised physical strength, but the presence of so many chiefs may hurt them later in the game. It certainly didn't do them any favours at the Immunity Challenge: their strength kept them close to Moto throughout, but the lack of any clear leader was really what did it for them. Next week, it seems, there's another challenge designed to build (or test) trust and communication skills; it looks like Ravu may have to wait some more for their first ever win.

The other thing that became apparent at the switch is that Lisi is a friggin' nutcase. Is there any filter there between thought and speech? To be fair, she may have been a little thrown at not being picked by either tribe; one can only assume she made a bad impression on what became the old Ravu during their first few days together as a single tribe. She now has to return to Ravu, from Exile Island, with an extremely tenuous (read: non-existent) alliance with Alex and Edgardo, no testicles, and a well-positioned nemesis in the form of Dreamz. Factor in her comments at the switch, to the effect that she wants to leave the game, and she surely won't be around for much longer. Lisi seemed not the least bit interested in the Immunity Idol clue, and it's doubtful she'll even bother looking for it, but she may inadvertently give away its location in one of her bouts of chuckling, spittle-flecked dérangement. Lot of wackos this season, no?

Incidentally, if you're still a little unclear as to who's on what tribe now, you can view- free of charge!- each of their rosters under the 'Tally' menu on the right hand sidebar.

There wasn't a whole lot else to remark upon at the switch itself. All the good stuff came afterwards...

Nu Ravu: I suppose the big issue this week was Anthony, and Rocky's lambasting thereof. To be honest, I was getting tired of both of 'em; hopefully Rocky will be the next to go, the lazy bugger. I felt sorry for Antho for about 3 (possibly 4) seconds, but seriously, if you can't turn a situation like that to your advantage you deserve to be voted out. Dreamz had gone a round with the Rockster already, so obviously there was bad blood there; Edgardo and Alex were definitely put off by his antics, all they needed was a push in the right direction; and Mookie, well, he's still a little hard to read, but now that he's (apparently) alligning with Alex and Dreamz, he probably would've turned too. Anthony just didn't have the charisma- the 'social skills'- to influence anybody: it's no wonder his torch was snuffed.

We're being treated to some very evocative interludes this season: in episode four we had the classic 'snake puking snake' vignette; this week we were treated to an extract from 'giant yellow spider versus gang of ants', backed by what sounded like vintage Kraftwerk. Allegory, no less.

Something that isn't at all clear is exactly why Rocky was so vexed by Anthony. Sure, he was weak at challenges, and a bit of a dweeb, but I've never seen anyone, at least on Survivor, have such a personal reaction to somebody else's personality. As Jeff said at Tribal, Rocky could have just kissed Anthony's ass, told him he's a good guy, and wrote his name down anyway. But Rocky went out of his way to 'tutor' Anthony, and pass on his virile 'life lessons', like a disappointed father forcing his mincing son onto the soccer pitch. Evidently Rocky thought he was doing Anthony a favour- "Take this experience and learn from it, bro." I wonder who will be the next one to find themselves beneath his barbed wing.

The Fates Will Know You As A Man: Alex will hopefully go a lot further in the game; he seems like a genuinely nice person, and is quickly becoming the leader Ravu needs. He also seems to be the only one with a strategy, proactively seeking out and forming strong alliances, while everyone else stands around waiting to see what happens. Plus, extra points for quoting 19th century French literature without looking like a twob.

Dreamz, too, seems to have finally found his niche in the new Ravu. If he stays quiet, does what Alex tells him, and keeps bringing in the fish with Mook- they semed to hit it off, while out on the rocks- he'll go far. I think the all-male Ravu suits Dreamz: he operates best in an implication- and subtletly-free environment. Speaking of matters masculine, was anyone else slightly disturbed by Rocky's ode to the fairer sex?: "...no offense, I love women- I love 'em- I love to touch 'em, make out, have conversations with 'em, get along well..." *Shudder* OK, I couldn't tell if he said 'touch' or 'talk to', but the former is far more disquieting.

Moto In Toto: The new Moto may not have the muscle, but they seem a more rational, mentally-balanced tribe, and are working well together despite the emerging divisions and alliances. The Rise of Earl was surprising in its rapidity; I assumed he'd ruminate a bit more before putting The Plan into action. But he went straight to work, smooth talker that he is; Cassandra went to putty in minutes, as Yau Man looked on in awe. With three out of a possible five Motoans in his pocket, Earl seems set to stroll with ease into Final Tribal Council. But this is Survivor dawg, the show that throws more curveballs than some baseball player famous for throwing lots of curveballs (sorry, baseball's not really my forte). Also, 'ridonculous' is so not a word...

I'd be reluctant to see Boo go any time soon, assuming Earl's plans bear fruit. He's fairly innocuous, performs very well at challenges, and injects some much-needed humour (intentional or not) into the everyday goings-on at camp. At the least, he deserves another few days for coining the phrase 'Motolicious, baby!'.

Just to fulfill the Moto quota, I will say that Stacy needs to be watched (she's gonna pull something before she leaves), and that Michelle is, um...in Moto too. Wait, no, it was Michelle that kept getting in Ravu's way during the Immunity Challenge, wasn't it? It was hard to tell if it was an effective tactic, really; wouldn't she have been hindering her own tribe's progress as much as her opponents'?

* * *

Quote of the Week: In such a dialogue-heavy episode, one quote o' the week just wouldn't suffice. Here are a few choice quips and wisecracks:

Jeff, dispatching Lisi after the switch: "Maybe Exile will straighten out your head, (and you'll) come back wanting to play." Chuckles all round from this one; you so droll, Mr. Probst.

Earl's parting shot to Cassandra, as he and Yau got on with the fishing: "It'd be nice to have a little meat." Cassandra certainly wouldn't disagree with that sentiment, methinks.

And, to end, the exclamation du jour, heard as the Immunity Challenge reached its frantic denouement: "All twist! All twist for Boo!"

Peculiar Fact of the Week: Before Anthony ruined the trend, every Survivor voted off to date had a) been female, and b) a name ending with an A.

Predictions for Next Week: Lisi boils the rabbit of a Ravu man (that may or may not be a euphemism); Ravu finally win a challenge, though it's probably not the Immunity one; Yau Man comes up with an ingenious excuse when he gets caught three-and-a-half feet under in his hole (where'd he get the frickin' pickaxe, by the way?).

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Saturday 7 July 2007

Fiji 14.5: B.O.O. - C.E.O.


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Wednesday 4 July 2007

Episode Five: Brains And Brawn And On And On

Grab your favourite leotard and jump in the ring! It's Fight Night in Fiji, as underdogs Ravu go toe to toe with reigning champs Moto in a battle to the death (or to the mud, at least). If schmaltzy made-for-TV movies have taught us anything, it's that desperate, last-ditch, nothing-left-to-lose ventures are almost guaranteed to succeed. A blood-spattered Ravu would lurch off the canvas and claw their way back from the brink of another defeat; we would leap from the edges of our couches and, in slow motion, punch the air; an incredulous Moto would walk away with their heads spinning, their lesson thoroughly learned.

Right? That's how this kind of thing goes, isn't it? Well, not quite...

Last week, it seemed as if the tables might be turning for Ravu: Moto lost two of its members in a short space of time; for once they didn't have to go to Tribal Council; and Rocky wore a brassiere. Granted, they still hadn't managed a win at a challenge, and stocks of food, and energy, were still low, but the psychological effects of last week's Immunity Challenge twist should've left them with a glimmer of light at the back of the cave.

And maybe it did. Yau Man and Earl showed some initiative in concocting a plan to uncover the hidden Immunity Idol, but the lack of proper tools for digging meant it was all in vain. A 'fed, fat and happy' Moto turned up for the Reward Challenge, and demolished Ravu in a one-on-one Sumo-style brawl, but not before the Rocky/Dreamz showdown (more later), and Yau Man showed the rest of his tribe that he's more than just an encephalon perambulatoris.

Earl was exiled (again), and Moto took home far too many spoils (again). Later, at Ravu, Rita and Michelle discussed the finer points of lipgloss, as you do, while Rocky and Anthony, their animosity forgotten for now, united in bitching about the girls' 'absolutely stupid' conversations. All was not roses and kittens at Moto either: an increasingly ostracised Dreamz began to wake up and smell the coffee, as Stacy's and Lisi's barely-concealed contempt for him made itself known. The Moto-5 seem to be on shaky ground, and Alex (and to a lesser extent Edgardo) are struggling to keep everybody in line so that they can maintain their numbers advantage post-merge.

Ravu came as close as they ever have to winning the Immunity Challenge, a giant game of Pairs, but food-starved brains are prone to confusion, and they lost it all at the last moment. Rocky put himself on the line by taking the blame for the loss, but Rita's inane babble and piss-poor presence at the Reward Challenge left her with the majority of the votes at Tribal Council. Ravu dwindle to six members; Moto has the combined body-weight of about sixteen.

* * *

The Time Is Yau: Fans of Mr. Man were indulged this episode with several Yaucentric moments. The plan to uncover the Idol was well conceived and fairly well implemented (bar the ineffective machete, and Yau Man's jitters), though it's unclear what Earl and Yau will do when/if they're successful. It's not a particularly divisible piece of loot; will they allocate it to whoever they deem is most in need, or will they 'do a Yul' and bring it out in the open at some point later in the game?

As previously mentioned, Yau also went on to kick booty at the Reward Challenge, the only member of Ravu to make any dent in Moto's armour. And let's not diminish this achievement just because he was grappling with a gal: Stacy is a tough cookie, well fed and rested; Yau Man is tiny, starved and exhausted, but he still outplayed her. As someone shouted when Stacy landed in the mud: Attaboy, Yau!

Dirty Fighting: Staying in the muddy arena for a moment, the Rocky Vs. Dreamz face-off wasn't really the show-stopper we had hoped it would be. Balboa was brought down with little fuss, and Dreamz's strutting rodomontade, though uncalled for, was fun to watch. Ravu have been in a state of defeat for so long now that sympathy is almost redundant, like feeling sorry for a fish because it doesn't have legs.

Anthony showed a lot more ability and pluck this week, taking on Edgardo and doing pretty well, except for the whole not winning thing. It seems last week's teary-eyed vow to stick around may have been more than just talk.

Rita put up about as much resistance as a newborn tea bag in a tornado. Or something. How does that saying go again?

Double Buff: Alex did some quick math and realised that, even if The Five Mototeers make it to the merge intact, they'll probably still need the support of Dreamz and/or Cassandra to retain a voting majority. This after the odd couple had been treated like pariahs by the majority of the tribe post Reward Challenge. Boo and Lisi were more indifferent than anything else to Dreamz's ignorance of the intricacies of coffee-making, but Stacy was openly contemptuous and condescending (i.e. a bitch). Alex, out of an innate sense of decency as opposed to any strategic imperatives at this point, tried his best to minimize the discomfiture, but Dreamz's Motoboat had already sailed: he couldn't have been more blatant; his allegiance will be with what remains of Ravu, as soon as they merge.

Alex then had to cajole his alliance members into seeing the merit of keeping Dreamz and Cassandra on their side: Edgardo got it right away; Lisi had to be convinced that a 5-5 split in votes would be a problem, actually; Boo seemed to comprehend- eventually- but so does my dog when I say 'walking'...

Now there appears to be a 'solid solidarity' at Moto- a concerted resolve to 'take Ravu out'- but underneath it all writhe the pallid tentacles of treachery. Stacy said, "As long as we're seven-tight we're cool", and Dreamz couldn't help smiling at that.

Bland of Brothers: This episode, Rocky repaired a lot of the damage caused by his whilom rants, freak-outs and crying games. Sure, he's a hot-head, but he seems to be the only Ravuite (Ravuian?) with what could be called passion for the game: Mookie is strong, but gives nothing away; Earl is nice, but timid and hesitant; Rita was about as charismatic as a radish. It's probably the fatigue, but it seems that without Rocky, Ravu would dissolve and drift away like fog, or just merge into the cave wall. Jeff asked at Tribal Council why Rocky was 'trying to take the fall' for their failure at the Immunity Challenge, and Rocky gave the most heartfelt and direct response we've heard in a long time: "We were so close...And I took that away from myself, and I took that away from my tribe, and I felt bad."

He's also genuinely funny, especially when he gets flustered and indignant about fairly inconsequential things, like chitchat at the beauty salon. Who didn't want to smack Rita and Michelle with a fried pineapple halfway through that 'conversation', eh? Though I hear it's great for your pores, the fried pineapple...

Addendum: Ravu's members have finally realised they are independent entities, and have started voting accordingly. Mookie no longer has the power/burden of sheperding the votes as he wills. It's a responsibility he seems glad to have given up. Incidentally, Earl's writing has gotten bigger; has he been reading this blog (and time-travelling)?

* * *

Quote of the Week: "I'm one of those people that look high-maintenance, but I'm so low-maintenance." Oh Rita, how the flighty have fallen.

Credo of the Week: Pearls of wisdom from the Yauboy: "Love many; trust few; do wrong to none." That's a design for life right there.

Predictions for Next Week: Not so much predictions as conjecture: The tribes don't merge, but the members are shuffled around, and a different tribe gets to live in the lap of luxury for a while; Dreamz and Rocky end up on the same tribe, with a few of the stronger players, because Rocky describes them as a 'superpower'; and Alex's premonition of 'almost instant karma' is realised as Stacy and Lisi end up on Ravu's beach, and tear each other apart.

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