Episode Eleven: How To Sink A Ship

The two remaining Horsemen- Alex and Mookie- have finally realised that the soft, fluffy stuff covering their eyes is wool, and that that isn't all Dreamz has been spinning. Dreamz tried his best to salvage his tattered alliance with the boys, but his weak defenses only mired him further, by inadvertently revealing that he voted for Mookie at Tribal Council. Meanwhile, the Syndicate Six congratulated themselves on a job well done, and seem to be ignoring, for now, the fact that there's only one million-dollar train at the end of this tunnel.

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The tribe was again randomly divided into two teams at the Reward Challenge, in which a pair of 'flingers' had to, well, fling balls to their mud-bound teammates, who attempted to catch, or 'basket' the balls in ball-catching baskets (say it three times, fast). A closely contested match ensued- with a brief interlude mid-game to allow Boo to relocate his knee-cap, and gross everyone out- but the Green Team, comprising Stacy, Dreamz, Earl and Alex squelched their way to victory. An overnighter at a luxury spa resort gave Alex a chance to 'wiggle his way back into this alliance', but it takes more than a hot shower and some Olay Ribbons Body Wash™ to soften Earl's resolve. (But don't take this blog's word for it: Olay Ribbons Body Wash™ is available now at your local stockist, so why not try it for yourself? Olay Ribbons Body Wash™: It's Like Eating Candyfloss With Your Entire Body. Or Something.)

With nothing left to lose besides his dignity, Mookie indulged in a spot of looting, and happened upon the Idol hidden deep in Yau Man's bag. He and Alex bounded into the woods, absorbed in discussions of optimum damage strategies and 'blowing up' Yau Man's 'spot' with this newly-acquired information. Preoccupied with tapping such raw veins of scheme, and all the while marvelling at their own brilliance, Alex and Mookie failed to notice the two remaining ladies- Stacy and Cassandra- sharing a pineapple in the nearby undergrowth, until it was too late. A hasty reformulation saw the boys galloping off to confront Yau Man immediately, while the perplexed ladies, who had been out of earshot as much as eyesight, wandered back to camp wondering what, exactly, had occured.

Yau Man's 'spot' proved far from combustible, and when his Chelonian secret was revealed to his 'voting bloc' it only engendered sympathy for him- victim of a cruel snooping- and enmity towards Alex and Mookie- perpetrators of same. At the Immunity Challenge, memory and strategy were tested in a giant game of Battleship, in which Stacy sailed to victory. Afterwards, further puns were invoked as a paranoid Boo persuaded the Syndicate to split their votes between Alex and Mookie, in case either of them had found the freshly rehidden Idol and planned on using it that night at Tribal Council. Earl reluctantly agreed to this risky measure, but he needn't have worried; a fit of insight on Alex's part saw him turn on his fellow Horseman, casting the crucial vote to knock Mookie from the saddle.

The Four Horsemen are no more, and it looks like Alex may be out of strings to pull.

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A Traitor, True: His duplicitous dealings now fully exposed, Dreamz found himself in the unusual position of being both liar and lied to, and is perhaps beginning to realise that one may be informed by the other. He expressed hurt at being left out of the voting loop by The Syndicate, but Earl soon explained away any lingering feelings of doubt and discomfort. Of course, ostensibly losing their only other allies the previous night can’t have been pleasant for Alex and Mookie, either. Dreamz tried to deny that he had turned on them, but his defense only highlighted his own self-interest: “I didn’t throw Mookie’s name out randomly to turn on y’all, but I knew once they had us gone, it’s me tryin’ to go with them.” When asked by Alex if there was a way out of the situation, he responded (emphasis mine), “All y’all can do now is we can just win challenges.” In other words, you guys are on your own.

The Horsemen assumed Dreamz had voted for Edgardo, until Dreamz slipped up and revealed that he’d voted for Mookie. Obviously the Mookster would take offense at this, but it may have got Alex thinking about why, when Dreamz went to double-cross them, he didn’t strike in the same place as the others. Although, burning as he was with the indignance and self-righteousness of the betrayed, Alex’s prime concern was licking his wounds.

Muddy Waters: A gloriously messy Reward Challenge goaded Cassandra into finally doing something of interest; at one point choke-holding Earl to prevent him catching a ball, and later, tripping Alex so that he fell face-first into the mud. She may not be the most physical of players- indeed, she’s probably the least physical player of all 19 Survivors- but it was nice to see her take the initiative for once and get her hands dirty. Of course, Boo’s bizzare antics stole the show once again; on all fours in the mud, bellowing like a wounded stag, is understandable when your knee-cap’s whereabouts are indeterminate; but reinstating the thing yourself, with such a sickeningly crunchy popping sound is just, well, grisly.

Boo’s body has suffered much punishment this season (largely self-inflicted of course), and more was in store for him beneath the scorching Fijian sun on Exile Island; the only recompense for his hardship being the first clue to the re-hidden Immunity Idol. The efforts of the victorious Green Team- comprising Stacy, Earl, Alex and Dreamz- were rewarded in a much more tangible way, with hot showers, dinner, and a night’s sleep in actual beds. Whether Earl did indeed ‘get his sexy back’ is a moot point, but it’s hoped that, once the cameras stopped rolling, the feculent four were allowed to shower as Nature intended, i.e., sans togs. That mud gets everywhere, y’know…

At dinner, Alex tried to convince the others that he deserves to stay around a while longer, though thankfully Stacy’s dormant cattiness reemerged to cut short his little reflexive encomium. When petitioned later that night Earl was kinder, though still unforthcoming. Earl is very calm and considered; it’s obvious to everyone at this stage that he’s pulling the strings, but he does it in such subtle and unobtrusive ways that he has yet to pay any price for it. Alex realises he may soon find himself on the jury bench, but maintains that he won’t go down without a fight- it remains to be seen what munitions he can conjure.

You Better Not Go Alone…: What should have been the strategic equivalent of a V-2 rocket materialised for Alex and Mookie the next day, due to the latter’s ‘creative’ (read ‘questionable’) ransacking of Yau Man’s bag. The two almost immediately focussed on the damage they could cause to Yau and the Syndicate, rather than on how they might use the knowledge- or indeed the Idol itself- to bring themselves back into the game. At one point, early in the discussion, Mookie submitted that it would be ‘in Yau’s interest to allign himself with us’, but this line of thought was abandoned in favour of ‘blowing up his spot’ at Tribal Council, under the- somewhat deluded- assumption that a shocked and disillusioned Syndicate would then turn on Yau…who would still have the actual Idol at his disposal at that point, but let’s not get into that for now, as this sentence is becoming ludicrously long. The conveniently placed Cassandra and Stacy put paid to this plan anyway, and the ‘two great brains’ were forced to confront Yau Man straighaway, and deliver their ultimatum: either he had to tell everyone about the Idol, or they would do it for him. Short of breath and with eyes aglow in expectation, the Horsemen must have been disappointed with Yau Man’s rather modest reaction to the threat; he was shocked of course, but more by the crude and abrupt nature of the confrontation, or the preceding invasion of his personal belongings, than having to reveal the secret of the Idol. Alex tried in vain to elicit more of a reaction- “It’ll be interesting, won’t it?”- but Yau wasn’t playing ball: “No…I think I’m past the phase where I absolutely have to have it.”

With the Idol out in the open, Yau Man knows he’s more of a target, but the overwhelming feeling when the information was disclosed was that of outrage at what Alex and Mookie had done. As Earl said, “People were pissed that they went through Yau’s personal things, not about ‘Yau has the Idol’.” It’s ironic that Alex and Mookie were condemned for their actions, but when Yau did a similar thing to Sylvia back in Episode Two (?) we all had a good chuckle at the enterprising little scamp. Granted, Yau had the decency to do it while the bag was still actually attached to its owner, but in principle it was the same thing.

Earl hung back as all this went down, but later expressed regret that the Idol’s whereabouts were disclosed: “…it sucked to me [that] someone knew, ‘cause I like keeping everything quiet, in general…too many people knowing about things; bad things happen.” He can’t grumble too loudly though; nobody else is aware that he was equal partner in the first Great Idol Hunt. Yau Man bears the brunt of the fallout from the info leak; does Earl still expect to call on Yau for the Idol’s protection if the need arises?

Coordinated Attacks: A novel and technically impressive Immunity Challenge tested the gang’s memories and ability to strategise, but there was a modicum of luck involved too. Stacy, whether by chance or design, sacrificed one of her own three blocks at the end, but took out her two remaining opponents- Alex and Yau Man- in the process, and walked away with the Immunity Idol. She received applause and thumbs up from Cassandra on the sidelines, while Alex looked slightly nauseous.

The next day- number 30-Alex threw about some more trite threats and self-important lawyerspeak, but at this stage it doesn’t look like he’s capable of making anything pan out.