Ravu have become a ragged gang of caged lions, their fur patchy and lank, eyes dull and despondent, pacing their enclosure in never-ending circles, pausing now and then to lick a paw, or to sniff at some indistinct patch of earth. Like a kid incessantly poking a stick through the bars of their cage, Moto's constant dominance at the challenges has them riled. But Ravu are impotent, and can only lash out at each other, while they wait for their next chance to lose.
If we extend the metaphor slightly, this series of Survivor had started to slip into some stereotypical behaviour of its own: Poor tribe loses, gets weaker; rich tribe wins, gets stronger...rinse, lather, repeat. Decks needed shuffling (or feathers ruffling) and by the end of this episode both tribes were holding very different cards (or coiffured pigeons; you choose). But first, a quick rundown of what went down this episode. (It shouldn't take long: I could almost copy/paste last week's recap, and alter the end-vote).
Ravu returned from another Tribal Council with none of the strained optimism of last week, but rather with some barely-restrained aggression towards Anthony on Rocky's part. After witnessing this extensive verbal bitch-slap, we paid a visit to Moto, where we learned of the 'almost unspoken' -and hitherto unscreened- Greater Moto Alliance, comprising Lisi, Stacy, Boo, Edgardo & Alex. Gary's health continued to deteriorate, but with him and Cassandra sitting out of a tricky physical reward challenge, Moto, after a shaky start, leap-frogged their way to victory, and sent Yau Man to Exile Island.
And a good thing they did: the little guy was fortunate enough to miss out on Rocky's spectacular post-challenge meltdown/freak-out, and his ensuing attack of nakedness. (That's one sea snake none of us need to see, Sly). The Yauboy had revelations of his own to deal with, i.e. the location of the Immunity Idol back at camp; a freshly-massaged Moto finally bid adieu to Gary (he was hogging all the fly bites anyway); and a cross-dressed, bemused and partly-horrified Ravu turned up all nipples blazing to the Immunity Challenge. Though they again failed to secure a victory, a well-timed deus ex canteena meant that it was Moto who got their first taste of Tribal Council, in exchange for the continued enjoyment of their luxurious camp. A 'shocked' Liliana was sent packing, but not before some very amusing and revealing banter with Jeff, around the Council Fire. Suddenly the tribes are tied: 7 members apiece.
* * *
Lord Anthony and the Rocky Road: Poor little Antho really took a battering this episode, most of it deserved, I concede: he is a bit of a mope, and proved fairly useless at the challenges. Rocky's irrational and somewhat over the top diatribe did more damage to himself than Anthony though, and coupled with his later freak out, he is definitely boxing on thin ice right now. Anthony reacted in the best possible way, i.e. by not really reacting at all, and going for a private little cry in the woods later on. I don't think it was an intentional tactic, Anthony being the epitome of non-confrontation, but it certainly didn't seem to do him any harm: if anything it only consolidated Earl's aversion to Rocky's attitude, and heightened his regard for Anthony. And how ominous that Earl is 'still devising a plan'. He may want to speed it up a bit; they've clocked almost two weeks on the island at this stage.
What did the rest of the tribe make of all these histrionics? Who knows? They were all remarkably non-verbal in the face of Rocky's sputtering fury. I imagine they were all in shock and/or scared. And to think, Rocky was actually 'holding back'. Mookie, at one point, did say "We lost, it sucks, let's move on", but what Rocky really needed was a smack upside the head. We saw a distasteful and disturbing side to him this week; even his Some Like It Hot moment, while amusing, was tinged with an air of mania, and desperation to atone for his outbursts. Plus, his accent's getting more and more incomprehensible.
Blue Beard: Papa Smurf was stretchered off Moto's beach and out of the game, although we never received any confirmation as to what exactly was wrong with him. It may have had something to do with the, quite literally, thousands of fly bites he sustained; or maybe it was his ticker giving out; or a cracked rib; or some sort of combat stress reaction relapse from 'Nam; who knows? In any case, he left with a whimper rather than a grisly laceration or third-degree burns; quite a moderate exit, in Survivorland. I don't think he'll be very sorely missed: the biggest impact he made in the game was on the Slip 'n Slide course last week (budum tish).
I have to agree with Lisi's sentiments, though they seemed a bit harsh: one less person does mean better odds, and if he's holding back the tribe, or provoking a 'babysitting situation', he's better off gone. Still, a little tribute's in order:
Massage In A Bottle: It was obvious that, unchecked, Moto would continue to romp through the challenges, leaving Ravu to spiral down further and further, like a one-winged albatross, into misery and squalor. Wait, wasn't that the whole point of the rich/poor dynamic in the first place? Never mind. Things were becoming depressingly familiar, and so the 'message to be read after the challenge' device from last season made a reappearance. This time round it left the winners with a choice: keep immunity and give up your camp, or vice versa. It was a sacrifice tailored to impair the Moto tribe: had Ravu 'won', they really wouldn't have had much to lose (what's another vote, eh?). Moto chose to keep their comfort, and who could blame them? Hey Lisi, one more person less means even more room in the king-size bed! Sweet.
For a tribe that had never been to Tribal, Moto displayed a commendable degree of organisation and backstabbing acumen. Sure, Cassandra could have been sacrificed without much impact, but Lisi knew what Liliana was up to with her massage parlour tricks, and she'd be damned if she was going to stand by and watch her boys be dragged down- and her alliance ripped apart- by such a scarlet woman! I think Alex's reluctance to vote Liliana off had somethiing to do with the fact that he hadn't had one yet (a massage, I mean).
Shek-Willa-Whatever-She-Called-It: It was interesting that Dreamz ended up voting for Liliana too, after his 'not pointing fingers' finger-pointing soliloquy back at camp, where he labelled Lisi and Cassandra the 'disposable' ones. Was he clued in by the Gang of Five, or was it coincidence? And if it was coincidenece, what made him change his mind?
Dreamz's plea to 'not turn to snakes yet', his openness and idealism, were commendable, I suppose, but completely misplaced in a game like Survivor. The whole point is that you have to turn into snakes at some point (or at least that that's the most fun way to play the game), and the challenge is to do that without pissing off too many people. Bringing it all out into the open like he did can work (it has on a handful of occassions in previous series *citations needed*), but doing it off the bat, on the first time his tribe goes to Tribal Council, only drew attention to Dreamz's complete lack of understanding of how people, and the game of Survivor, work. Alex told him '...you can't ignore the inter-personal relationships that have been built', but as Dreamz himself pointed out, he doesn't have any of those in the tribe, and probably wouldn't recognise one if he did. Actually, Papa Smurf was the only one Dreamz had any connection with, and watching the apprehension on his face as Gary disintegrated and was taken away was kinda sad.
And next week he runs his mouth, and goes head to head with Priscilla, Queen of the Tank Top...The poor guy's a study in social ineptitude.
And we were subjected to that little interlude with the snake puking up the other snake, or possibly puking up its own body; the jury's still out on what was going on there. It was definitely disgusting though.
Exeunt: The amount of words you utter, from the moment your name is read for the last time, to the moment you leave the Tribal Council area, is inversely proportional to the esteem we hold you in for the rest of the show. I suppose if you're not going to make it to the jury, you might as well get in as many words as possible before we forget you. But speaking directly to Jeff before he quenches your torch? That is so not cool, Honey Bunny.
Trivia: Near the start of the episode Lisi and Stacy are bathing in the shallows, and Lisi sings in an indecipherable high-pitched tone. Scientific analysis has determined that she is in fact saying "The Five Musketeers!", a reference to the alliance of five Moto memebers, of which she and Stacy are a part, and an allusion to the novel The Three Musketeers by French novelist Alexandre Dumas.
Moto now have two sets of fishing gear, but we have yet to see any member of the tribe actually go fishing.
* * *
Quote of the Week: Rocky's advice to Anthony, who was having trouble (or an erection) trying to get past Rita on the Beam Challenge: "Yeah, but don't look towards her, look parallel, bro". Um, what now?
Synchronised Nod of the Week: Mookie and Michelle, in response to Jeff's comment that, despite the loss of Gary, 'the game continues'. It was beautifully orchestrated, but kinda chilling...
Predictions for Next Week: Yau Man finds the Immunity Idol (that guy's got skillz); Alex has to go in the bold corner for pulling one of the girls' pigtails...stupid girls; Rocky fights dirty, but Dreamz has got the moves to counter him (did you see the way he dismounted from the Beam after the reward challenge?); and, when Ravu inevitably lose the Immunity Challenge, Anthony almost pulls of a coup against Rocky. Almost.
Wednesday 27 June 2007
Episode Four: Running The Ass Isle (Um)
Friday 22 June 2007
Monday 18 June 2007
Episode Three: Shock & Ew
Before we pig out on the juicy main course of third episode analysis, let us take a quick nibble at the hors d'oeuvre of an episode recap, pushing some of the less-palatable morsels under the lettuce, so to speak, though we know that trick fools no one. I shall leave the rest of the laboured metaphors till dessert.
Ravu returned from Tribal Council a troubled tribe. Rocky and Rita made some concerted efforts to bolster flagging spirits, but the overall feeling was one of confusion and dismay. They continued to deteriorate the next day, and Moto continued to thrive, indulging in a spot of home improvement (before retiring to the conservatory for elevenses). Earl returned from Exile Island to a gang of "begging children", but soon after, Michelle managed to turn the tide of misfortune when she used her spectacles to make fire (and so Ravu finally have safe water to drink).
Ravu went into the reward challenge "all fired up" (good one, Rocky) and gave Moto a slippery run for their money, but again they just couldn't pull it off. Moto won the reward, and Sylvia was sent to Exile for the second time, where she meditated on her atrociously bad performance in the challenge, and received a third clue to the location of the Immunity Idol. Back at Moto, Gary (aka Papa Smurf) began to feel the worse for wear after taking a few hard knocks at the challenge, and eventually the medics were called in to take a look at him.
Still, this didn't stop Moto from stomping through the ensuing Immunity Challenge, and Gary actually delivered the coup de grâce by polishing off two pig snouts (*shudder*) while Anthony was still on his first nostril. It could have cost Antho the game, as Mookie pulled some more strings back at camp, but Sylvia's irritating manner and general uselessness persevered, and still not having found the hidden Immunity Idol, she was given the boot.
As Jeff pointed out, a lot of opinions were aired at Tribal Council. It will be interesting to see how this affects the dynamic of the tribe next week.
* * *
The Prodigal Sun: Michelle finally became a presence in this episode, starting the fire for Ravu, and drawing a snake in place of an S when she voted for Sylvia (tee-hee). It should put her in a fairly secure position within the tribe for now, although with Ravu there really are no guarantees (Erica says hello). Michelle still seems a bit kooky though, talking to the sun and all that, and I don't see her sticking around till final four unless she finds some coattails to ride (Becky says hello). It was nice to see her bumped up from a 'filler' position for a while, and getting props from Jeff too; that doesn't happen often.
I have one question though: why did she hand the nascent flame to Anthony to carry into camp? If I'd put all the effort into getting a fire going, I'd have strode into camp with my smoking coconut husk held aloft, a latter-day Prometheus, proclaiming "Supplicate before me, puny mortals, for I have attained what you could not! I grant thee life, for I am combustion incarnate!"
Or something like that; I don't think I'd last very long in Survivor, actually...
Cool, Cool Mountain: Star 1: This week's reward challenge was a blast: a one-on-one race down a giant Slip 'n Slide to grab a numbered ball, which then had to be tossed into a tiny basket to score a point; first tribe to 6 points wins. There were varying levels of capability on display for this challenge, from Sylvia falling on her back and floundering like a new-born seal pup, to Boo thundering down the course like a mother walrus protecting its young, and basketing the ball on the first attempt. We also had the spectacle of a rather front-loaded Cassandra trying to maintain equilibrium, and Yau Man's valiant, and almost successful, attempt to take down Dreamz before he scored the winning point for Moto.
It was a more important challenge than anyone could have guessed: Moto left with a badly injured Gary (but even more fishing gear), and Sylvia's fate was sealed after a very poor showing, and another trip to Exile. I think it was also the genesis of the animosity that would flare up in the next challenge between certain opposing tribe members.
Ceist a dó: why did Moto take another batch of fishing gear as their reward? It's not as if they need that much food, and usually there's only one or two people on a tribe that can actually fish successfully anyway. The luxury items would have been much better: someone brought a guitar, and there was a soccer ball, and what looked like a giant green stuffed turtle (probably Boo's).
Spit or Swallow?: And so we came to the second of this episode's challenges: eat disgusting stuff faster than the other tribe and win Immunity. We hadn't had a food eating challenge since, I think, Series 11. Evidently the members of Ravu had forgotten the details of this particular kind of challenge, cheering and hooting at the proximity of the words 'food' and 'eating' in the same sentence. Bless them, dehydrated and famished as they were, they probably would have applauded had Jeff announced a 'Razorblade Challenge'. Moto looked on in well-fed derision.
Rocky beat Liliana by the skin of her teeth by guzzling down a distastefully suppurating giant clam. Dreamz chowed down on some octopus tentacle, easily getting the better of Sylvia (I was hoping he'd make some comment to the effect that he'd eaten worse while living in the streets, so I could scathingly retort 'Where, the streets of Atlantis?' But he didn't, so I won't). It was one point apiece as Mookie took on Lisi and a pair of peanut worms, and this is where the taunting started; Mookie waving his worm in Lisi's face, trying to make her vomit. Boo wasn't at all happy with this behaviour, and reprimanded Ravu for it, only to be smacked down in turn by Rocky: "You vote out two people, then you tell me how you feel bro." Go Sly!
Moto had three straight successes after that, and walked away with Immunity. Ravu, well...at least they got fed. I see Mookie's point about Anthony not showing the will to win or whatever, but c'mon, he had to eat an actual pig snout. I mean, there's only so much you can do with your imagination to disguise the fact that you're eating someone else's nose. Incidentally, do they provide a vegetarian option at these challenges, does anyone know?
Any Other Business: Boo, what on Earth are you wearing on your head? It looks like a tiny, bright red, portable gazebo. Sylvia, could you make your hole-digging any more obvious? Wait, I've covered that already. Earl, for the sake of your tribemates' eyesight, could you try writing a tiny bit larger when casting your vote?
* * *
Quote of the Week: Rocky had a nice little monologue at Tribal Council, but for the sake of brevity I'm going to give it to Anthony this week: "I often wonder if these folks even like me." That may prove to be quite perceptive come next week.
Thursday 14 June 2007
Wednesday 13 June 2007
Episode Two: Hello, Moto
All week we craved the arrival of episode two: chopping off the tops of lesser TV shows in a craven search for Survivor's precious milk; desperately licking our remote controls in delerious attempts to sate our Fiji Islands dependency; some of us went as far as trying to bribe some natives for a morsel- a cáithnín- of juicy Moto- or Ravu-related scuttlebutt; fruitless endeavours all, until Saturday delivered unto us a vessel brimful of that which we desired. Having devoured it, we now lie prone, clutching our bellies in post-bacchanalian (or possibly bacterial) agony. I can offer no remedy, save the meager flint of my words, the water-purifying flames they kindle, and my oath, brave reader, to keep you dysentery-free (at least metaphorically) for the remainder of the season.
After zooming through our first viewing of the brand new opening credits, accompanied by a kicking remix of the theme song, we arrived at Camp Ravu, which is quickly becoming Camp Ravaged. Much of the first half of the episode was given over to documenting this tribe's desolate, dizzy and, sadly, dry efforts to find or make potable water. Leaves were licked, puddles were sipped and, as energy levels depleted and coconut cracking became more and more of an effort, bodies and minds began to fray at the edges. Tempers didn't so much boil as wander off to hide from reality for a bit. Food, or lack of, was also an issue: Rocky was forced to eat clams "off the ground" instead of from the plates they grow on in Boston.
As a respite from all the misery at barren Ravu, we paid a visit to Moto's supa-fly camp, and got to know some of its inhabitants a bit better. Lisi's display was strange and disturbing, but mercifully brief; Boo, possibly under the influence of some tabulae defixiones, sustained multiple injuries, seemingly out of the bloo; Dreamz bonded with Gary while decimating the local flora, and waxed poetical about life on the streetz; and Alex and Edgardo improvised a little slumber-party on the couch, combing each other's hair with forks from the cutlery cabinet.
Sylvia arrived at Ravu from Exile Island to be felt-up by Yau Man, and pretty soon had pissed-off everybody (especially, um...Michelle), which seemed to ensure her ejection should the gang find themselves at Tribal Council again. They performed flawlessly in the first half of the ensuing Reward-Immunity Challenge, but their exhaustion soon raised its bloated tongue, and it all fell apart in their hands. Moto sent Earl off to Exile, and walked away with a Council-free immediate future and a box of fishing gear; I think there's some room for it on the living room dresser, beside the second-best china...
Pushed even further towards the edge by their defeat, and the continued absence of water to drink, Ravu changed tack and turned on Erica: she who had earlier found a stash of pineapples growing near camp, generally pulled her weight, and didn't particularly piss-off anybody. Go figure. She left after an almost-unanimous vote; Sylvia survives to irritate another day.
* * *
Yau Gotta Pick a Pocket or Two: Or if pockets don't present themselves, at least have a gander in Sylvia's bag. Yau Man carried out the ol' classic Hug-n-Snoop as soon as Sylvia was off the boat from Exile Island, but his shameless sleuthing didn't uncover anything, because Sylvia doesn't have the Immunity Idol. If she did, she might have played it at Tribal Council. Or perhaps not; she was fairly secure, since as far as she knew, everybody was voting for Erica.
It's odd that this season the Idol has to be presented before Jeff reads the votes. I suppose it's a measure designed to frighten the insecure holder into using it as a safeguard; ye gods, can you imagine if you played it and then received no votes? Talk about embarrassing...
The Fall Guy: Welcome to the Kenward "Boo" Bernis Theatre of the Absurd! Boo's ham-fisted attempts at doing...well, anything really, were probably the highlight of the episode. And kudos to the editors for putting it all together so well, though with material like that, it'd be hard to go wrong. Boo and calamity are like a magnet and iron filings: he could injure himself in a pillow factory made of marshmallows and kittens. Let's hope he sticks around for a while (although I could do without the protracted flatulence).
Oh, speaking of which (the injuries, not the flatulence), who do we think has the near-death experience next week? Boo would be the obvious candidate, but does he really have the self-awareness to actually fear death? Cassandra seemed pretty upset about it anyway; we shall wait and see.
I Predict A Riot: Last week I advised Anthony to pull a Spiderman 3 and emo-up a bit. This week he's moping down by the rocks, hat askew, filliping the proverbial 'bird', and hating the world for not 'getting' him, or something. I didn't see any eyeliner on show just yet, but it's only a matter of time before he asks Yau Man to make some for him.
Mama (Loves A Crackhead): OK, I did feel a tad sorry for Dreamz this episode, I'm not entirely heartless. The montage was slightly drawn out though, and mawkish, especially that bit on the beach, with the sunset...
I hope it's not all one big Grandma Fairplay-type ruse.
* * *
Sycophant of the Week: Congratulations Sylvia! You get the award this week for your comment to Mookie, on learning that he had orchestrated a vote-swing in Erica's direction: "If you have laundry, just bring it to us!" Jeez woman, you could at least pretend to have some dignity left.
Quote of the Week: Proving that he really is an 8-year old at heart, good ol' Dreamz earns 'Quote of the Week' with: "The more trees we find, the more we run wild!" Now let's go build a fort!
Saving Private Earl
Where was Earl coming from with his Saving Private Ryan piece?
Did that poor young innocent snake remind him of the landing of the first wave of soldiers on Omaha Beach during WWII?
I like to think that he thought the snake was Tom Hanks and he was chopping him up for You've Got Mail.
Anyway, he goes on to say: "Snakes are misunderstood"...and then chops him up and says "now there is an understanding...".
Well I am lost and don't understand. Explain.
The Finding of the Pineapple
I love the way Erica just casually finds the pineapples behind a bush. It was a great piece of camerawork. She was so hungry she was beyond starvation, and then she goes and finds pineapples. Lovely. I was so moved. I paused the tape and watched it again.
Did you know that pineapples help to induce childbirth when a baby is overdue? So those could come in handy; Earl wanted to marry her and, well, the next step is babies, so here's to pineapples.
So Vicious It's Delicious
Yeah, it's tough tittie that Erica had to go. If she just kept her head and hair together she'd still be in the game: the heat was on and she could not stay cool under pressure (p= F/A).
This kind of thing happens every day. Those unexpected moments when the adrenalin starts to pump and sweat starts to flow, and then it's panic stations. If she used Sure deodorant instead of licking leaves and finding placed pineapples, there would have been no yelling and screaming, and the puzzle piece might have fit in. Sure is so sure, it won't let you down: hence they would of winning the task.
(I am not saying Erica is smelly by the way, just that she panicked, and this made her sweat, and scream. And, well, if we cut out the sweat then there'd be no screaming, and the team would of winning.)
Monday 11 June 2007
Wednesday 6 June 2007
Episode One: Bonus Content
I watched the repeat last night (and again today...sad I know, but I do it for you, dear reader). I'm going to post some observations on a few of the other marthanóirí, and examine some of the main events in more detail. You can tag along, if you like. I don't mind.
Anthony: Anthony got a lot of screen time this episode, but I'm still not sure what kind of player he's going to be. He seems like a nice guy, but could he be too nice? Sometimes, you need to be ruthless in this game. Maybe he should grow his fringe long and start wearing eyeliner; that means you're a bad ass, right Hollywood?
Mookie: ...seems like a strong, logical and pragmatic player. He could be one to watch.
Michelle:...seems like a bit of a ditz.
Erica: Yep, Erica is also going to be a strong contender; she had better be careful not to make it too obvious in these early days. Now that her alliance with Jessica has been scuppered, she needs to maneuver herself quickly into a secure position. Aligning with Rocky is a good way of getting there, if they can pull in one or two of the stronger players (or even a couple of the 'filler' players, one of the ones you never really notice till around episode 5, when they serendipitously become the fulcrum about which a vote-result turns).
Rita: Rita looks like that chick that made Nate's head explode in Six Feet Under. Talks like her too.
Earl: Earl is described as an ad exec, but I think he might be a cop. Check out the way he interrogates Mookie over the decision to bump off Jessica: "Could the third one have been harder? Was it harder?...They're all kinda the same (repeating Mookie's response)...I mean, that's a valid response."
He'd make a Good Cop though, not a Bad Cop.
Lisi: Lisi scares me a little, in the same way that Rosie O'Donnell does.
* * *
Like Tom Hanks in 'BIG': For a brief moment, I wanted to recant my former Dreamz-bashing, because I thought I'd figured him out. Basically, I theorised, he's a child in a man's body. It all made sense: the lack of social skills, the wild attention seeking, the wide-eyed naiveté and optimism. Then he started speaking in tongues again, and I just wanted to belt him with an oar.
The Proto-alliance: It was probably the shortest alliance in the history of the game. Jessica and Erica hook up (not in that way, gentlemen; control yourselves), they get Rocky to join in, so to speak, and before long, glances and promises are being exchanged. But, alas, it was all for nought.
Jessica didn't really deserve to go, but then, who did? We've seen it all before; if you're not willing to be part of the voting majority, at least in these early stages, then there's a good chance you'll be part of the highly exclusive voted minority. Erica and Boston Rok definitely have to get some more people on their side. I wonder if Erica even likes him, or if it was Jess' decision to get him on board.
Bring me my Spear; O clouds unfold!: Whether Ravu could have avoided this outcome in the first place, and gained the Fiji Hilton in the process, is a moot point. But it wouldn't have hurt to put Yau Man on the chariot, and thence the puzzle, during the challenge. The guy weighs about 60lbs, most of which is brain: he was custom-made for that challenge!
* * *
Quote of the week: There were a lot of good ones to choose from, but I'm going to leave you with these two beauts:
From Jessica: My torch may have been snuffed here, but I'm sure it's being lit somewhere else."
Um, ok...I'm not entirely sure what that means...wait, no, I get it now. Wow! that's actually really profound.
Then there's this crackling exchange, my personal favourite:
Boo: Hey...what's your name?
Yau Man: Yau Man. Y-A-U M-A-N.
Boo: Yau Man. I'm Boo. B-O-O.
Quiz Number 2
Welcome to the second official Emerald Isle Quiz. All the questions in today's quiz are about the first episode of Survivor Fiji.
Bloggers ready?
Go!!!!!
Q 1. Which Survivor was successful in opening the wooden box?
Q 2. Name 3 items which were inside the box?
Q 3. The Survivors were given a variety of food to eat. What type of rice were they given?
Q 4. After the Survivors had built their shelter, what was written on the sign which was hung on a pole?
Q 5. Which Survivor wears a bright orange t-shirt?
Q 6. Which Survivor has a tattoo of a cross on his back?
Q 7. During the immunity challenge, the Survivors had to put a jigsaw together, when finished, what 3 numbers were spelt out?
a. 10 19 14
b. 35 13 22
c. 39 19 1
d. 14 20 1
Q 8. At tribal council, who sat to the right of Boston?
Q 9. How many votes were cast against Jessica?
Q 10. How many other Survivors received votes against them?
How many times did Boo fall out of his tree? Only joking that’s not a question. It’s a reality.
Those are the 10 questions. Answer them as quickly as possible, or face my terrible wrath!
Tuesday 5 June 2007
Empty Island
Exile Island? More like Empty Island. There is nothing on the island worth looking for. But at least this season's island has coverage, unlike last season's. So when it rains the Survivors will have something to sleep under and keep themselves dry. But still, if the idol(s) are back at camp, then both idols are not on Exile Island, and therfore the island is just....punishment.
Also I loved how no one knew what was inside the box (which Jeff dropped from a plane and into the sea) (nice one Jeff) but they all had a go at smashing the box against a rock to open it. There could have been breakable items inside (wine/ food/ etc.) but no one cared or thought of it as they hurled a boulder at it and lashed it against a rock. I know it was dropped from a height and into water but still, the stuff inside could have been carefully wrapped inside, but lashing it against a rock... a big no, no. Anyway who opens a wooden box with a rock??? They were given tools to construct a shelter, yet no one thought to use a hammer or crowbar, or machete to open the box.
But its going to be an exciting series. A diverse range of people. Rocky's nickname suits him perfectly. He is the spitting image of Sly. I'm not too sure about the Have and Have Not Survivors yet. It's still early days. At the moment after just one episode, I'm going for either Erica (Afro haired girl) or Yau Man to win.
Who do you think?
The Quiz
Dear reader,
Welcome to the official Emerald Isle Quiz, that part of the blog where I test your Survivor knowledge and powers of observation. The series has taken it’s time to return to our screens, but it is finally back, so here we go...
In undertaking this challenge/quiz, you acknowledge the risks of the task and do not hold the Emerald Isle Blog or any person, place or property thereof, responsible for the loss, damage or death of your person while partaking in this adventure. Section 52 b, paragraph 4, sub-section 3iii of The Case of Survivor TM Australia Against Michael Ooh I Fell In The Fire Burns Victim Act 2004.
There are 10 questions for you to answer today. Once your answers have been cast, the decision will be final and the winner will be asked to collect their prize immediately.*
I'm now going to start my clock.
Bloggers ready?
Go!!!!!
Just to get you into the mood lets go back to the last series for a few questions.
Q1. Where was the last series of Survivor set? (Series 13)
Q2. Name the four original tribes of that series? One point per correct answer.
Clue:
P…
H…
R…
A…
Q 3. In that series, the tribes were divided racially. Name the Survivors who made it to Day 39?
Q 4. Twenty Survivors took part in last season’s series. Name all twenty. (One point per correct answer)
Q 5. Who won that series?
Ok, now that you have warmed up it’s time to pick it up a gear. Series 14.
Q 6. How many Survivors started this series Survivor Fiji?
Q 7. Name both tribes?
Q8. What are the tribe colours?
Q9. Name all the Survivors and the tribe they are now in. (One point per correct match)
Q10. Which Survivor chose the tribes?
Those are the 10 questions. Answer them as quickly as possible.
***
Over the next few days I'll post more questions. The questions will be divided into different categories; tribes; nicknames/ who am I; opening credits; survivor’s occupations and tribal council, etc. etc.
*prize may or may not exist, we're not sure yet.
Sunday 3 June 2007
Rocky Vs Askew
Look 'askew' could be seen as a difficult word....Taken by surprise he might not know.....It's not as if when a picture is out of line, he would say "oh it's askew there". He'd say it's crookit or something....Right, so when an old Biddy comes along and is being all Little Ms. Architect trying to wave her Degree that she can draw you don't have to rub it in with BIG words.....As in BIG words not used in everyday terms.....Next she'll be calling the rice Oryza Sativa......when there is no need...
view the rest of this postEpisode One: Boxing Clever
I was going to hold off posting until I had watched the repeat on Wednesday, but the blog looks so new and shiny and inviting that I couldn't resist. Apologies if some of the facts are incorrect here, I'm trying my best to remember how it all went down...
So, the 20 19 survivors arrived at their resort camp in a rather reserved opening sequence. There was no mad chicken-grabbing, helter-skelter dash for the beach/immunity idol like last season. They had the usual getting-to-know-you moments on the beach (hi, what's your name, are you going to stab me in the back?), but before long the boys bounded off to explore the jungle like, well, boys exploring a jungle, and the gals hung around to open coconuts and whatnot with Yau Man.
Soon Jeff flew by, perched somewhat precariously at the plane's rear hatch, and dumped a crate into the ocean near the beach. After several abortive attempts to get the crate open (see below) its contents were eventually disclosed: extensive blueprints and directions to a stash of supplies for building their new camp.
And what a camp! The next couple of days flew past in an imbroglio of manual labour, depleting energy supplies, shortening tempers and the conspicuous absence of anyone trying to make fire. *Edit: three of the girls were actually appointed Fire Team: I think Stacy performed the coup de grace in the end.* Sylvia, architect and self-imposed leader, got on everybody's nerves, including mine, with her bizzarely lilting instructions, as if she were herding a group of 6 year olds on a school trip ("Those sticks need to go over they-her!"). But the hard work payed off, and the camp is looking pretty sweet: they even have a toilet. With a seat. I'll say it again: with a seat. And a shower (seperate from the toilet obviously).
Jeff called "Come on in guys!", and the as yet unnamed group were split in twain. Sylvia, showing an astute reluctance to be publicly deemed the 'leader', was given the honour of dividing 'em up, and two new tribes were born: Moto and Ravu. For her trouble, Sylvia was sent to Exile Island (oh my god, is that a snay-hake?), and the two tribes went head to head in the first immunity challenge of the season. As well as playing for the coveted immunity idol (which is a kick-ass looking skull thingy), the winning tribe would get to stay at Camp Have, while the losers would have to go slum it at Camp Have Not, on a different, unknown beach, with just a machete and a bucket to keep them warm. It's an interesting dynamic this season, but I think we all saw it coming, as did most of the contestants.
The newly-formed Ravu failed to perform at the challenge, and Jessica was sent home at Tribal Council, ostensibly because she failed to get her part of the puzzle assembled in time. Sylvia, having discovered that the hidden immunity idol is actually somewhere back at camp, will now join Ravu, making it 9 players apiece for each tribe. We can deduce that there is a hidden idol at each camp, since the producers coudn't have known in advance which camp the Sylvitect was going to end up in. Or could they?...
* * *
It's always hard, in the first episode, to figure out who's who, and what tribe is where and all that jazz. But here are a few of the people and events that stood out for me:
Rocky: I think this guy was the star of the episode, and it's odd because when he first appeared I assumed I'd hate him. Sure, he's dumb and irritating, but he's also (unintentionally) hilarious, which makes for great TV. Plus, he was the only one who had the ballz to say anything to Dreamz (Dreamz...with a Z...yep) when the guy wouldn't shut up. Granted, I had very little idea what Sly was actually saying to the Sandman, but he done it, an' that wut countz...
Yau Man: Yau Man rocks! He is Geek Supreme: King Nerd. Seriously, he opened the crate by harnessing the arcane power of physics; he made lemon tea from a fragment of coconut and trigonometry; what will he do next? Yau Man knows whether the cat is alive or dead, I'll bet.
Sylvia: Oh Sylvia, Sylvia, Sylvia (*shakes head*). Rule One of Survivor: never become 'the leader' in the first few days. Keep your head down, work hard, and if you have to lie about your profession to avoid being leaderified, do it! "Architect? Moi? No, no, I'm an arachnoligist...or something. Oh my god! Look over there, is that a tub of barbecue ribs?!"
Dreamz: Rule Two: Don't alienate yourself by insulting anyone, or telling risqué or racial-themed jokes. Also, stop talking so much. Finally, if you insist on calling yourself some dumb-ass name, don't spell it with a Z when an S will suffice. We have perfectly functional letters available, please use them. (Yeah, it's a pretty long rule).
Rock/Crate/Physics: This scene was priceless. I can't wait to see Harry & Lloyd interact more in the future. Are they on the same tribe now? I can't remember...
The Askew Crew: Is Rocky really that dumb? 'Askew' is a 5 letter word, that's barely 2 syllables long. It's hardly 'a big word'. 'Orthagonal' now, I can see how that might be challenging. But 'askew'?
Is it all an act? Is Rocky really a genius mastermind? You'd have to be really clever to be that dumb, right?
* * *
Predictions for next week: Sylvia has trouble fitting in with her new try-hibe; Moto start to become complacent and it shows at the challenges; and I piss myself laughing at Boo breaking the hammock.
Roll on Episode Two!
Saturday 2 June 2007
Bula Bula Tribe
Earl
Yau ManMichelle (3-2) (only the 5 members of the 'green team' voted)
Cassandra
Stacy
Boo
AlexEdgardo (5-3-1)
DreamzMookie (4-3-1)
Ravu Tribe
New Ravu
Alex
Edgardo
DreamzRocky (4-2)Anthony (5-1)
MookieLisi (4-1)Jessica (6-1-1-1)Erica (6-2)Sylvia (4-3-1)Rita (5-2)
Moto Tribe
New Moto
Earl
Yau Man
Michelle
Cassandra
Stacy
BooLiliana (6-1-1)Gary (medivacked, due to chronic Smurf Juice deficiency)
Survivors Ready?...
Welcome to the not-particularly-official Irish blog for fans of the reality TV show Survivor!*
'Why do we need yet another blog for yet another TV show?' I hear you moan. Well...Quiet! This is not Tribal Council, and even if it were, I haven't given you permission to speak yet!
OK, first, take your torch and light it. Fire represents your life in this blog; as long as you have fire you are safe. Now, take your spot on the bench and pass around the coconut husks while I explain...
We started this blog because we are huge Survivor fans. (We've been watching since the beginning man, since Borneo, when Richard out-played everyone, even himself...wait, that doesn't even make sense...damn, this coconut milk is strong!). But because of the way these things are scheduled, the season has usually been aired in completion over in the States by the time we start to watch it over here. This makes visiting any of the official Survivor sites an unfortunate game of risk, where you try to glean the information you seek without stumbling upon any of the (large, brightly coloured) announcements of who has been voted out, or indeed who has been crowned sole Survivor. Alas, one of our party has fallen foul of this mechanism already this season. I will not name names; you know who you are, poor soul.
So, since Survivor 14: Fiji started airing on Irish TV station TG4 (súil eile) this very night, we have hastily cobbled together this blog for all you Survivor fans out there, huddled together under your palm fronds, eyes wild and wide in the rain-lashed night, battling camp-invading rats, sea snakes, and those weird crabs with the funny eyes that they always show...
We, your hosts, shall get things underway in the next few posts (guys, wake up *pokes with machete*), but for now, join us for the next 36 days on the island (that's another 13 episodes, not including those boring re-cap ones they always do), as we don our buffs and head to the beach!
Survivors ready?...Go!
*this blog is in no way affiliated with TG4, CBS, Charlie Parsons, the Survivor television show, its creators, participants, or Jeff Probst :(
