Episode One: Boxing Clever

I was going to hold off posting until I had watched the repeat on Wednesday, but the blog looks so new and shiny and inviting that I couldn't resist. Apologies if some of the facts are incorrect here, I'm trying my best to remember how it all went down...

So, the 20 19 survivors arrived at their resort camp in a rather reserved opening sequence. There was no mad chicken-grabbing, helter-skelter dash for the beach/immunity idol like last season. They had the usual getting-to-know-you moments on the beach (hi, what's your name, are you going to stab me in the back?), but before long the boys bounded off to explore the jungle like, well, boys exploring a jungle, and the gals hung around to open coconuts and whatnot with Yau Man.

Soon Jeff flew by, perched somewhat precariously at the plane's rear hatch, and dumped a crate into the ocean near the beach. After several abortive attempts to get the crate open (see below) its contents were eventually disclosed: extensive blueprints and directions to a stash of supplies for building their new camp.

And what a camp! The next couple of days flew past in an imbroglio of manual labour, depleting energy supplies, shortening tempers and the conspicuous absence of anyone trying to make fire. *Edit: three of the girls were actually appointed Fire Team: I think Stacy performed the coup de grace in the end.* Sylvia, architect and self-imposed leader, got on everybody's nerves, including mine, with her bizzarely lilting instructions, as if she were herding a group of 6 year olds on a school trip ("Those sticks need to go over they-her!"). But the hard work payed off, and the camp is looking pretty sweet: they even have a toilet. With a seat. I'll say it again: with a seat. And a shower (seperate from the toilet obviously).

Jeff called "Come on in guys!", and the as yet unnamed group were split in twain. Sylvia, showing an astute reluctance to be publicly deemed the 'leader', was given the honour of dividing 'em up, and two new tribes were born: Moto and Ravu. For her trouble, Sylvia was sent to Exile Island (oh my god, is that a snay-hake?), and the two tribes went head to head in the first immunity challenge of the season. As well as playing for the coveted immunity idol (which is a kick-ass looking skull thingy), the winning tribe would get to stay at Camp Have, while the losers would have to go slum it at Camp Have Not, on a different, unknown beach, with just a machete and a bucket to keep them warm. It's an interesting dynamic this season, but I think we all saw it coming, as did most of the contestants.

The newly-formed Ravu failed to perform at the challenge, and Jessica was sent home at Tribal Council, ostensibly because she failed to get her part of the puzzle assembled in time. Sylvia, having discovered that the hidden immunity idol is actually somewhere back at camp, will now join Ravu, making it 9 players apiece for each tribe. We can deduce that there is a hidden idol at each camp, since the producers coudn't have known in advance which camp the Sylvitect was going to end up in. Or could they?...

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It's always hard, in the first episode, to figure out who's who, and what tribe is where and all that jazz. But here are a few of the people and events that stood out for me:

Rocky: I think this guy was the star of the episode, and it's odd because when he first appeared I assumed I'd hate him. Sure, he's dumb and irritating, but he's also (unintentionally) hilarious, which makes for great TV. Plus, he was the only one who had the ballz to say anything to Dreamz (Dreamz...with a Z...yep) when the guy wouldn't shut up. Granted, I had very little idea what Sly was actually saying to the Sandman, but he done it, an' that wut countz...

Yau Man: Yau Man rocks! He is Geek Supreme: King Nerd. Seriously, he opened the crate by harnessing the arcane power of physics; he made lemon tea from a fragment of coconut and trigonometry; what will he do next? Yau Man knows whether the cat is alive or dead, I'll bet.

Sylvia: Oh Sylvia, Sylvia, Sylvia (*shakes head*). Rule One of Survivor: never become 'the leader' in the first few days. Keep your head down, work hard, and if you have to lie about your profession to avoid being leaderified, do it! "Architect? Moi? No, no, I'm an arachnoligist...or something. Oh my god! Look over there, is that a tub of barbecue ribs?!"

Dreamz: Rule Two: Don't alienate yourself by insulting anyone, or telling risqué or racial-themed jokes. Also, stop talking so much. Finally, if you insist on calling yourself some dumb-ass name, don't spell it with a Z when an S will suffice. We have perfectly functional letters available, please use them. (Yeah, it's a pretty long rule).


Rock/Crate/Physics: This scene was priceless. I can't wait to see Harry & Lloyd interact more in the future. Are they on the same tribe now? I can't remember...

The Askew Crew: Is Rocky really that dumb? 'Askew' is a 5 letter word, that's barely 2 syllables long. It's hardly 'a big word'. 'Orthagonal' now, I can see how that might be challenging. But 'askew'?

Is it all an act? Is Rocky really a genius mastermind? You'd have to be really clever to be that dumb, right?

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Predictions for next week: Sylvia has trouble fitting in with her new try-hibe; Moto start to become complacent and it shows at the challenges; and I piss myself laughing at Boo breaking the hammock.

Roll on Episode Two!