Episode Eight: Don't Feel Like Dancing, Dancing

Like the slightly balding DJ at your second cousin's wedding (you know, the cousin you don't really like, but your respective mothers were best friends all through school or something, so you kind of feel obliged) I urge you all to get on the dance floor (i.e. this blog) while I spin this hip new record (discuss this week's episode of Survivor) and spout inane platitudes and well-worn clichés (that part's not entirely metaphorical, actually). But you sit torpid at your trestle tables, picking at the remains of the wedding cake and bemoaning the lack of a live band. The youngsters will be dancing soon, once their supply of lurid, and no doubt poisonous beverages dwindles. We better get out there, and show 'em how it's done!

Come on! I want to see you all on the floor for this next one!

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Last week, Moto's hidden Immunity Idol was uncovered; this week it was Ravu's turn to do a little digging. The comatose Lisi and Dreamz were kept out of the loop as Alex, Edgardo and Mookie got to work. They soon had the wee turtle in their collective back pockets, and a gloriously oblivious Lisi led her conniving squad into the Reward Challenge, where the recently tutored (and painted and decorated) tribes would compete in a Fijian dance-off. Earl seemed to go native for a while, leading Moto to another victory, and the ensuing feast/hoedown at the local village. Lisi endured another night on Earl- pardon me- Exile Island, her lately regained composure washing away in the storm like yesterday's sand castles.

At Moto, Earl and Michelle decided that Stacy should be given her marching orders as soon as possible; her ties to Alex and the other ex-Motoans would be dangerous as the inevitable merge approaches, and the fact that such a move might scare Boo into line would be an added bonus. Tree-mail arrived in the form of an arrow, which the archery amateur Edgardo took as a sign that it was his time to shine. Unfortunately, nobody had informed Yau Man to dim his lights; backed by Boo, Yau secured another Moto triumph, as tribemate Earl sat by, awaiting the turn he was never required to take.

A disillusioned Lisi informed Alex- and thence the rest of Ravu- that she had had enough of the game, and wanted to be the next one to go. Dreamz was more than willing to oblige, and even a last minute change of mind on Lisi's part didn't persuade her buds Alex and Edgardo to change their's again. A unanimous 4-1 vote saw Lady Ambivalence head for the hills, or at least wherever it is the jury members hang out between Tribal Councils. Ravu are down to four; will the merge come in time to save another of its members an ignominious ejection from the all-night Survivor disco?

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While You Were Really, Really Sleeping: This week's moment of delicious dramatic irony presented itself in the first act, so to speak. The line couldn't have been better scripted had ol' Bill himself been reanimated for the purpose. Lisi, having had the Idol stolen literally from under her toes, then persuaded herself that she had caught Mookie in the act before any damage was done, and had the misguided temerity to proclaim: "Dude, you're gonna have to wake up really, really early to fool an old cat like me." Lisi dear, you may want to reset your alarm clock.

Caught as he was with his thumb in the pie, Mookie played along very nicely, even going so far as to help her when Lisi decided to have her own little root around for the Idol. Incidentally, they appeared to be using the flame-thrower poles from last week's Reward Challenge; it's strange that they were allowed to retain such useful implements. Mookie seems to be playing everybody at this stage, since he firmly believes that the Idol is in one pocket, his own. With three people sharing it, it's almost certain that some backs are going to be perforated before it gets played. Already, Dreamz has been excluded from his supposed alliance with Alex, Edgardo and Mookie, although if you feel secure enough to sleep through all those shenanigans, on day 20, perhaps that's what you deserve.

...And That's The Way It Is: Before the Reward Challenge, Lisi commented that she doesn't take the Challenges seriously: "I don't think we should be out there brooding about 'we gotta win, we gotta eat that food'." It was ostensibly included as a pointer to the reason for Ravu's forthcoming loss, accompanied as it was with shots of Lisi mucking up at practice, and getting shouted at by the Fijian dance instructor. But perhaps she's right; perhaps if the rest of Ravu were able to adopt the same attitude, they would be more likely to succeed. This phenomenon- Ravu being too wound up to perform at challenges- was discussed last week, so it probably doesn't bear repeating, but it does seem that, with every loss, Ravu become more desperate for a win, and hence- ironically- less likely to attain one.

That said, Earl wasn't taking things very lightly when he led Moto onto the dance floor. He took to the gyrations like a funky duck to water, nailing the moves and even pulling off the grass skirt with aplomb. Come challenge time, he had a look of focussed determination that was almost unsettling in its ferocity. Fortunately we had the spectacle of Boo getting to know his inner ballerina to lighten the mood; caked in face-paint and bounding about like a modern-day Quasimodo being attacked by an office plant.

Even their resident cheerleading coach couldn't secure Ravu a win; they were a little uncoordinated, and leaderless, spending most of the time in a boyband-esque line of five across the dance area. Props must be given to Dreamz though, for his standing back-flip thingy at the end of Ravu's set. I think the judges were impressed too, but not enough, evidently; they probably still had Earl's adamantine glare seared across their retinae.

A Dark And Stormy Night: Barbed tongues of lightning brand the night sky like writhing, incandescent tapeworm. The rain seems to have accelerated beyond the point that common gravity- and decency- should allow, the drops coalesced into a single implacable sheet, as though the seas themselves have come to reclaim the land. Waves crash and leaves rattle, adding to Mother Nature's cacophonous roar. There have been storms here before, wild nights without end, that threatened to tear the soil from its bedrock like a week-old scab. There has never been anything like this.

A lone figure stands atop a wooden tower, gripping the rail so tightly in her hands that the knuckles protrude, like the teeth on a cadaver's skull. Her copper hair whiplashes around her head in the turbulent air, as though her thoughts are attempting to flee their corporeal prison in the face of this awesome tempest. Her cheeks are flushed, and soaking wet; whether with rain or with tears it is impossible to tell. She leans out across the rail, her body taut, poised dangerously on the brink; below her, the jungle is dark and loud, the machinations of some vast, incomprehensible beast. The pulsing firmament above is reflected in the depths of her wide eyes as she inhales the night air, takes the obsidian ether deep into her lungs. She releases it as a scream, a cry, a primeval roar that pierces even this most barbarous of nights.

At first, the exclamation is too intense to fathom; the mind is not built to comprehend artefacts of such raw emotion. But we hear it return as an echo, even as the storm, having been bested, suddenly begins to subside. The words are terrifying in their simplicity; beautiful in their profundity.

They are thus: "This sucks! Hahaha!"

Man On Fire: Earl and his little spy Michelle are the first to wake at Moto; they usually have a little debriefing session- recon reports, minor strategy adjustments, that kind of thing- in the morning while 'everybody else (is)
just laying there', presumably still asleep. This was explained to us by Earl, while Yau Man was in shot, starting the fire. Is Yau Man invisible now? Does nobody notice how valuable he is? He almost single-handedly won the Immunity Challenge for Moto; perhaps Earl should be a tad worried that 'his' tribe performed so well that he was surplus to requirements. Not that anyone on Moto, with the possible exception of Stacy, would have the inclination, or nous, to start an anti-Earl campaign at this point in the game; it must be pretty cramped in Earl's pocket at the moment. Metaphorically.

Speaking of cramped conditions, how perceptive of Michelle to notice that the (again, metaphorical) beach towel's not big enough for both her and Stacy. The two of them are remarkably similar, and even Survivor aficionados have expressed sporadic confusion over which gal's which. Michelle seems to have the upper hand right now, with Earl's artillery at her disposal, but will Moto need to 'pull an Aitu' and purposely lose a challenge before they can vote a member off?

Yau Man will probably continue to go unnoticed for now, which is a good thing really: the longer you stay off that radar, the better your chances of making the Final Four. Come the merge, the individual Immunity Challenges should be very interesting; can Yau's unorthodox, logical approach to even physical tasks compete with the brawn that's coming from Ravu? And don't forget Boo's pretty impressive track record at challenges thus far...besides the dancing, obviously. And the blindness last week...Wait, what was my point again?

Coming And/Or Going: Jeff's comment at the end of Tribal Council- that 'you have to want to win' to stay in the game- may be trite, but that doesn't make it any less true. Lisi thought she had the luxury of deciding whether she could stay in the game or not, based on some idealised version of the friendship she had built with Alex and Edgardo. Doubtless they both genuinely like(d) Lisi, but Alex's remark that he was 'pissed off' at losing her 'solid vote' in the future, revealed a lot about his priorities in the game. Lisi defended her decision to leave by saying, "I've run the gamut in this game: I've been rich; I've been poor; I've been in exile. What more have I got to do?" Alex was 'not going to judge Lisi', but the unspoken retort from him seemed to be "Well, win, maybe? D'uh."

This would have all been well and good had Lisi not defended her decision in another, less commendable way, i.e., the 'my tribe are a bunch of losers!' rant. Ravu have a fairly abysmal track record, but Lisi spoke as if she had never been a part of the tribe; standing in the crow's nest, pointing out the holes in your 'sinking ship' is fine, but why don't you shut up for a moment and help with the bailing? Bad Ace Ventura impressions, and recycled lines from Friends aren't going to help matters.

Alex and Edgardo were visibly perplexed and annoyed when, ten minutes before Tribal Council, Lisi decided that maybe she kinda wanted to stay after all. At this stage they had probably had enough of her capricious behaviour, and her comments at Tribal only hammered the coffin's nails home. Though it may be truthful, the fact that your will is 'wavering from minute to minute' and that 'there are times when you're just not up to it', are not things you reveal at Tribal Council, of all places. Lisi's final plea to her tribe- "Just gimme a chance...just let me see what happens."- was slightly ludicrous, really. You may have your cake, crazy lady, but you can't eat it here.

(One last Lisi-related nugget: At one point, before the Reward Challenge, Dreamz announced that "We are mighty Fijian warriors!", a nice attempt at boosting morale, and getting people psyched for the challenge. Lisi's response? A loud clucking sound, akin to a large chicken or turkey. Truly bizzare.)

Dreamz Can Come Through: Dreamz may not be the most skilled of social meneuverers, and he has a tendency to get slightly cocky from time to time, but all is overlooked for now, on account of his performance at Tribal Council. He was surprisingly succinct, and accurate, in his appraisal of Lisi, and when the "Jeff, I'm ready to vote!" comment popped out, even he had to stifle a smile. Lisi's attempt to turn Dreamz's critique of her- "She gives up easily"- back on him was misguided and plain inaccurate. Dreamz said, "You never see me give up...I can't give up. It's not in me; it can't be in me." And that actually seems to ring true.

He also told us that if he dies, we should 'recipitate' him at the finish line. Which doesn't actually mean anything, but we can overlook that, too. Sheesh, what do you want, a bloody shek-willa-kway?

Dury Juty: The way Rocky bounded up those steps, on his way to the Jury bench, was so evocative, so familiar. I wish I could put my finger on it. (Go on, watch it, you know you want to.)

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Quote of the Week: Appropriately enough, this week's quote comes from Mr. Dreamz himself, with some of his sassy street argot: "I think she wants to go home, and they call me a genie in a bottle, 'cause I grant wishes."

Magic!

(Though Lisi had a nice little zinger for Dreamz when she said, "You're a grown man, consider a name change!"

Meow!)

Les Predictions: Last week's predictions proved almost supernaturally incorrect, so I'm going to play it safe this week and prophesy a merge of some kind, or possibly a commercial airliner dumping its passengers on the beach, to be hunted down by camera-shy monsters and ever-widening plot holes. (Zing!)